What is a VICTIM MINDSET (What do victims want from others)

whilst diana the princess of wales the victim of her own childhood and her own parents divorce was she made a victim after her marriage to prince charles or was she playing the victim to gain sympathy and support in her war against the royal family in this video i am looking at what victims think and what victims feel so do stay watching because today let’s talk about victims and the victim mindset if you’re new to my channel i’m sue blackhurst and i bring the world of social psychology into everyday language i post videos every monday and every thursday so by subscribing to my channel you’ll get weekly insights into the fascinating world of human behavior and if your life isn’t quite what you’re feeling it should be right now then do download my free book on reframing self-critical thoughts the link is in the description box below it just might open up a whole new set of opportunities for you and talking of new i’ve been quite excited this week because my new logo was finalized just yesterday and i said i’ll give you a shout out so massive thank you to wish studio 308 for being so incredibly patient with the hundreds of revisions it literally went back and forwards for a full day but you nailed it i love it i hope everyone loves it too the death of diana the princess of wales is still making headlines around the world and as new personal details of her life are brought to the surface there is still this ongoing debate on whether diana was the manipulator or the manipulated many say the real diana was headstrong mischievous and too clever for her own good whilst others believed she was this helpless young beauty swept of her feet by the unfaithful and unloving prince but following her divorce diana was painted as the victim as she distanced herself from any blame whatsoever in the collapse of her marriage she was photographed embracing and protecting william and harry images that showed this devoted mother resilient and defiant enough to protect her kids from the world’s invading headlines while still having to face the adversity by herself when prince charles finally sat down to relate his version of events in that game-changing interview with jonathan dimbleby princess diana appeared that same night in the famous black off-the-shoulder cocktail dress renamed the revenge dress she was the wrong woman and wanted the world to be on her side her press coverage pushed charles right to the bottom of all the pages and nothing the royals could do or say would change this public opinion that diana had been thrust into the royal family like a lamb to the slaughter and they needed to pay the price a view that seems to remain to this day the newspaper headlines during her marriage also supported this victim status diana driven to five suicide bids by uncaring charles and marriage collapse led to illness and for those who still need to be convinced that she was the victim of an adulterous husband and loveless marriage the 1995 televised interview with martin bashir was a master class in public image management of a wronged woman with her head bowed ever so slightly downwards enabling diana to cast her eyes down during the interview and then raise them to the audience at that opportune moment cementing her emotional turmoil and drawing every ounce of sympathy from those glued to their television screens even her eye makeup was carefully applied to enhance this victim image prince charles and the royal family have always been held accountable for diana’s unhappiness and untimely death so in order to work out whether dana’s words in the martin bashir interview reflect the mindset of a victim and were a true reflection of how she was really feeling or whether it was an orchestrated performance in revenge for her husband’s adultery we need to look at what it means to be a victim and see how much of it comes from these external influences or are driven by internal beliefs bad things happen in life and it’s perfectly normal to feel sorry for yourself and feel powerless in the face of challenge like a bereavement or a divorce but whatever the reasons you have every right to feel that things were out of control because at the time they were but there are also times when things happen where the mind allocates fault and blame externally leading us to question our own value and what we do and do not deserve having a victim mentality means that you blame your challenges in life on the actions of others around you and behave according to those beliefs you will see your entire life through the negative perspective that things constantly happen to you and beyond your control and therefore it’s something that you should be given sympathy for experiencing as in your mind it is not your fault and you deserve better victim mentality is an acquired personality trait and those with a victim mentality have in most circumstances being the victim of wrongdoing by others or have otherwise suffered misfortune through no fault of their own victim mentalities usually developed during childhood from family members and situations and it’s well known that diana struggled with the divorce of her own parents and the relationship with her mother when someone has the belief that life is happening to them they tend to take this approach of self-preservation when deciding how they are going to behave so they’ll turn to a healer a psychic or a doctor looking to be somehow fixed but without being willing to gain greater self-awareness they fail to address the core issues that are causing the emotional pain and distress in the first place in other words the victim believes that others are responsible for their feelings so they set about seeking to protect themselves from the pain that they are actually causing in extreme cases the victim has experienced so many unscrewed up and emotional experiences in their own life that they believe that they are entitled to or have somehow earned exemption from fault for their own actions no matter how painful they are whilst continuing to complain about every situation and blame everyone else for everything that’s happening it’s almost like they feel that their past experiences give them freedom to act how they want without any consequence this may sound familiar when looking back at the many reports about diana’s mindset but it also rings alarm bells for prince harry because his actions over the past couple of years have been heavily criticized but his behavior and lack of comprehension about the consequences of these actions has victimization all over it diana and harry are both victims of a broken marriage but so was william so the external factors experienced by both boys are the same meaning that harry’s internal beliefs point blame and fault on everyone else’s doorstep other than his own and it’s well documented that princess diana turned to psychics and healers for critical information about her life throughout her later years she became more and more paranoid and felt that she couldn’t trust anyone so sought help from these types of people it wasn’t unusual for diana to make five calls a day to her psychic healers leaving messages when she couldn’t get hold of them straight away so it feels like they provided her with this emotional crutch to lean on leaving her feeling even more vulnerable without their guidance so i do wonder if harry sees megan as his crutch and his healer and is turning to her believing that she’s not only the one person he can trust in the royal family but that she is the one to save him from his own self-fulfilling prophecy at his heart a victim mentality is actually a way to avoid taking any responsibility for yourself or your life because if you believe that you have no power to do anything about it then you don’t have the ability to take any action the victim’s mindset is black and white it’s them against everyone and everything else and by dismissing any belief that they are partly to blame for co- creating any negative consequences they are also dismissing the possibility of or acknowledgement that they could be at fault it did take time but diana gained in tremendous strength from the overwhelming public support and i think she realized that she did have the ability to do something about her life and her public image and i wonder if by doing the interview diana was in fact seeking an apology or at least recognition for the impact of the wrongdoing from the royal family diana agreed to do her one and only interview believing that she was a victim of her marriage and the institution that she married into when in fact she was the victim of the heartless and dishonest lies that martin bashir fed her and her brother el spencer to reel her in one of her closest friends said that she was in the grip of interviewer martin bashir and there was not even a glimpse of the level-headed fun-loving and compassionate person who was my friend one of the interview questions that bashir asked her was do you really believe that a campaign has been waged against you a question that was bound to challenge her trust and confidence in her friends family and palace staff and only now 25 years after she bared her soul i was seeing that bashir was both the inventor and orchestrator of the very campaign that he was asking her about and a man who will only now know what it feels like to have the world turn against you and go from being victor to victim if you’re looking for some support and guidance to all the challenges being thrown at you at the moment then do take a look at my 20-day overcoming obstacles and build mental strength training program the link is in the description box below you can spend as little as much time as you want or need as you go through each module at your own pace each lesson will give you the tools to help you face and overcome the challenges in your life and there’s also a full set of daily affirmations to keep you focused and motivated throughout so start off by downloading my free book it’s in the description box below thank you so much again for watching and don’t forget to subscribe give the video a like and do leave a comment do take care and i’ll see you next time you .