What To Do When You Are Stuck | The Fearless Man

May 16, 2021 19:30 · 4438 words · 21 minute read

i’m coming to you from istanbul we’re doing a series of workshops here and we’re going to be here for a month and i wanted to uh here’s my room i want to show you the room we’re going to be getting into some revealing process stuff today guys and talking about getting stuck with your revealing but look at that view i got this beautiful view on the other side is the asian side of istanbul and i’m on the european side you can see that if you look out this way you can see the city out that way it’s absolutely stunning here i sit out here most mornings and have my coffee and i love it and most days it’s pretty nice outside so but we’re gonna sit right here so the light doesn’t interfere with the video today and uh dive right in and talk a little bit about um revealing process because we’re gonna be heading towards uh the next few weeks talking more if i can get this camera set up right we’re talking more about the revealing process as we head towards a major event that we got coming up which is going to be in miami which is going to be about the revealing process a live big group seminar we’re going to be talking more and more about the revealing process as a whole now um what i want to do for this video was talk about getting stuck when you get stuck with growth or revealing working on yourself when something is not working inside what do you do um and usually when you’re stuck it’s because there’s something you’re not welcoming or accepting there’s something you’re not allowing and that’s a big reason we get stuck and i what i have done over the years to get past that well i’ve been stuck and i’ll stay stuck until i get committed to getting past it because what it is there’s something deep down inside of me that i don’t want to feel there’s something i don’t want to process and so what i do is i keep trying to let it go and as i tend to try to let it go over and over again it tends to only get stuck more because what i’m doing is i’m trying to reveal or release to let go of the stuck emotion the fear the doubt the worry the guilt and the truth is is how you release what really causes you to release is the acceptance of the feeling not wanting to get rid of it but getting rid of your attachment or aversion to it so if you’ve got a lot of fear around approaching women and you’ve got a huge attachment or aversion to the idea of approaching women what you’re doing is you’re getting rid of the you’re welcoming getting rid of the attachment and the aversion and therefore getting comfortable saying you know what if i have to live with this fear i’m going to be happy either way and this weird energy starts to take place where you learn to be happy whether you have the fear or not and that’s what’s really powerful when you can truly be happy whether or not the situation changes then the situation will change and i know that’s like an oxymoron it’s this weird thing and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today how to get to that place of total and true acceptance and if you’re not there and you can’t truly accept what you’re feeling sometimes it’s you’re going to have to go into a serious stopping um as my old teacher used to say he would tell me all the time brian just stop brian just stopped and at the time i didn’t totally understand what he meant by that but what he really meant was all the trying to figure it out all the trying to thinking because when i stop what’s left is just feeling being with what you don’t want to feel and before you can change anything you’ve got to feel it now i’m going to give an example if i’ve got a really messy room and let’s say a messy closet and it’s just a mess in there i don’t want to look at it so i’m constantly shutting the door i’m going into a version over it i don’t want to see what’s inside of it i don’t want to experience what’s in there then i can’t really clean it can’t i now if i keep trying to the idea being like i’m going to open this and i’m going to clean it as fast as humanly possible because i don’t want to deal with it i don’t even want to see it and then you open you start taking everything out and then you’re like but i might need this i don’t know if i need this you get really frustrated to get really angry and you don’t want to throw anything away but you you also want to see it again so you need to shove it all back in and shut the closet door and lock it that’s kind of what we do with the subconscious mind and we do that over and over and over again never getting anywhere with the problem and the true key to getting somewhere with the problem is reaching the point where the problem is no longer holding you back you can look right at it you can accept it you can maybe it’s not comfortable but you know what i’m going to be happy whether i have this problem or not and that is the hardest thing for people to do when something is real when you’re really in resistance to something so how do you do that well think about the closet if you open the closet door and you sit there and you just look at what’s in there and you take inventory and you feel all that emotion come up all that frustration all that thinking all that worry all that doubt and it starts coming up and it’s rising to the surface but you just keep sitting there you get a nice chair it’s comfortable you sit down you say you know what i’m just going to accept it the way it is and maybe you can’t do it right away and that’s the problem anyway the pain becomes so great because you’re sitting there i really want to fix this i really don’t want this problem i want to shut the door i want to avoid and what you would normally do in real life if there was something you didn’t want to feels you would do something to avoid it you might drink you might smoke pot you might watch tv you might masturbate whatever these things are but in this case you don’t do that you keep sitting there and you keep sitting there until eventually you can kind of start to accept it you can kind of start to laugh at it your mind naturally will have to settle at some point and you’re like wait a minute why is this such a big deal yeah it makes me a little angry but you know what it’s just a messy closet in the end it’s just a set of emotions and feelings it’s really nothing that can hurt me it’s just anger it’s just sadness can i accept that anger and sadness and when you do that there’s a sense of even though you’re still angry and sad of getting lighter and lighter and then lighter and lighter and that’s actually when the releasing is really happening maybe you haven’t even released the anger and sadness but you’re getting lighter because you’re releasing the aversion to it you’re releasing the aversion to having a messy closet and you’re saying you know what it’s okay and that is the real key and i’ve been stuck like this many times in my life where i sit there and i try to release and i try to release and i realize i realize that i’m only releasing to let go of the problem i’m not really releasing a welcoming and getting comfortable with it first so it therefore it doesn’t want to go because i’m just saying okay i’m going to welcome it right now i’m going to welcome it welcome okay now let it go and the truth is it doesn’t want to go when you do that because you’re not in vibrational alignment with it so what do i do when that happens well i begin a concerted effort of welcoming and i stop all the releasing i sit down and i welcome sometimes day in and day out for a week straight i think i’ve had to do it for more than a week at times just getting comfortable with an idea i’ll sit with it for an hour every day sometimes i’ll walk sometimes i sit sometimes i do close eyes meditations and i just sit with it and i feel like [ __ ] sometimes but i keep sitting with it and eventually there is a breakthrough there’s a shift inside of me where i start to get more comfortable being with this thing and when i get more comfortable my mind starts to settle and i start to relax then i can start to look at it a little differently and when i get this sense of being able to look at it a little differently where i can really say you know what this isn’t such a big deal anymore it’s not solved but it’s not a big deal then i can start moving things around then i can start making adjustments so i just sit there and welcome part of the welcoming though is i’ll sit there and a lot of times i’ll shut my eyes and i’ll be with it i’ll look at it and be with it one of the two and i get really still want no distractions and i’ll say can i welcome this can i just be with this can i say yes to this these are things that i say can i welcome can i be with this can i acknowledge this can i just say yes to this and then i’ll look and i’ll say is there any part of me judging this in any way because if i’m judging it i’m not going to let it go and i’ll ask myself is there any part of me making this right like this this this is how it needs to be done this is the right way to do it or is there any part of me making this wrong good or bad and then i notice that and i even sometimes have to stop making it wrong that i’m making it wrong like i’m judging it so i’m just going to watch myself judge it for a little bit and i’ll just be with that is there anything about this that’s personal to me like it means something about my life if i don’t solve this now i’m never going to solve it and i’m never going to be happy can i welcome that feeling too and it all comes back to acknowledging the fight inside of yourself the resistance the stubbornness the stuckness and then removing all the judgment all the aversion all the attachment to fixing it or at least welcoming those things and just being with it and i might have to do that day in and day out for a while and at first sometimes i can’t even see the judgment or the attachment or the aversion sometimes it’s just plain numbness it’s just plain stuckness i can’t see what’s going on and it takes me several days of doing this process before i can even see it when i’m really stuck but eventually i always do because i’m patient because i know i’ll have a breakthrough so i want to welcome you into this idea that you can do this too so if you’ve got something that you’ve been really stuck with it could be releasing itself it could be approaching it could be dating it could be um who knows what it is and it could be anything could have nothing to do with dating maybe it has to do with money this process can work for you and what i want to invite you into doing is just sitting down with me for a minute and starting to take a deeper look at why you’re stuck and just welcome up whatever you’re stuck with whatever you’re you’re you’re resisting you don’t want to feel and i want you to commit to a period of time at least a couple weeks every day i’m going to sit with this for an hour and i’m not even going to try to release it i’ve given students the assignment to sit with stuff for a month straight and not release it and it’s had profound effects on their life so go ahead and let’s sit with it something you’ve been really stuck with you know what it is you decide you pick it and just sit with it and can you just welcome whatever you’re feeling right now if you don’t like the word welcome you can change it to can you just acknowledge can you be with it and then can you welcome all the feelings all the sensations in your body all the emotions all the thoughts and all the judgments that come with that and just notice what comes up and can you welcome any part of yourself that is making this right or wrong can you look right at that and can you just be with that you don’t have to change it you don’t have to fix it just be with the part of you that’s making this thing right or wrong can you welcome any part of yourself that’s judging this judging it is good or bad whether it means something about you and your life and then can you just be with that watch yourself judge it watch yourself make it right or wrong can you say yes to it and now can you just say yes to everything you’re feeling and can you say yes a bit more and then just be with that for a second and then a bit more and then even another yes a bit more and just be with that and then can you just notice what you’re feeling in your body now you might notice intensifications where it’s getting more intense not less intense and if that’s the happening just welcome that too say yes to that acknowledge that and then sit with that some more and some more and as it intensifies maybe it’ll even intensify more with each yes getting bigger and bigger and bigger and that’s perfectly okay just watch that happen and if that’s happening ask yourself am i judging that am i making that right or wrong am i making that good or bad and just welcome that and just be with that and if it’s starting to relax and starting to loosen just welcome that too that’s neither right nor wrong and notice what that feels like and just welcome some more of that too and then notice if there’s any part of you that thinks you’re not feeling anything it just feels plain old stuck again you welcome that too can you welcome it as if you have to live with it forever if you had to live with this forever be with this feeling forever could you just sit with it and just be with it imagine you have a new grumpy old neighbor that moved in next door and he’s not going to move he says i’m going to live here for the rest of my life can you sit down and say you know what i’m going to get to know this neighbor i may not love him but if i’m going to live next to him for the rest of my life i’m going to get comfortable with him so just welcome whatever you’re feeling as if you’re going to have to have it the rest of your life doesn’t mean you will could go away one minute but welcome is it as if just do this as a practice can i just be with this for as long as i can be with this can i just welcome this and then again notice if there’s any part of you judging that judging what i’m saying judging your experience making it right or wrong or making it mean something about you and just be with that and if you notice here the key over and over again is just to welcome just to be with your whole experience every thought every emotion getting more still inside watching the stuff whether it intensifies or whether it loosens and it’s going to do both like a wave at times you might feel it intensifying other times you might feel loosened and as you relax more in the mind over the minutes days and weeks to come you’re going to find you’re going to be able to see more and more of this and you’re going to start to notice that you naturally feel lighter and lighter that releases just seem to happen as you get comfortable being with what you’re feeling so can you say yes to that too can you just say yes to what your current experience is and then say yes again and say yes again and say yes again and as you continue to say yes to whatever’s coming up and you begin to let go of the aversion or the attachment when you begin to let go of making it right or wrong naturally without trying even trying to let go because you’re getting more comfortable with it you’re going to find that you just have more freedom inside more natural freedom so again ask yourself can i just go a little deeper inside now can i just welcome a little bit more acknowledge a little bit more go a hair deeper it doesn’t take much just a hair a hair more relaxed or a hair more intensified these intensifications always lead to eventual relaxations up and down until eventually you sink deeper and deeper and deeper into feeling now one more time welcome off whatever you’re feeling all the thoughts the emotions the feelings the sensations and just notice your experience just be with it and say yes to it and again notice any thoughts you’re having about it welcome any attachments that’s you trying to do something with it any aversion you trying to find a way to push it away or avoid it and just be with that be with that as much as you can without forcing and then say yes to whatever your experience is and then say yes again and yes again and yes again and then just again notice what your body’s feeling notice any part of your body that’s in resistance or that you’re not feeling and just welcome that too and continue to say yes to the next experience no matter what it is and then notice any part of yourself trying to do anything with or about it trying to change something or get rid of it or even trying to release and just notice the nature of the chore try or notice the trying itself and just welcome that too watch yourself trying watch yourself being with this sense of trying and then ask yourself can i let that go too and can i let that go a bit more and a bit more and a bit more and i can i welcome the aspect of or the idea of going even deeper into my body and then deeper and even deeper and then now begin to ask your heart to open this is a very important piece because as you go deeper sometimes we want to close the heart so can you just welcome the idea that your heart is expanding and opening can you welcome the idea that your heart’s expanding and filling the whole room now for some of you you might notice that as your heart expands you get more sensitive more vulnerable and that’s exactly right so if you’re experiencing that just welcome that too welcome that vulnerability be with it for a minute enjoy it celebrate it or if you’re not enjoying it welcome that too and if you don’t feel your heart opening your heart wants to close more can you welcome that and be with that can you say yes to that again there’s no right or wrong the act of doing this every day over the next few weeks is going to actually move you in the direction of ultimately becoming lighter and looser you’re going to notice day to day week to week you’re only going to get looser you’re only going to get lighter so again welcome that heart open welcome it wide open and feel it as wide as it’s willing to go without forcing just be with it as much as you can and i want you to welcome this idea day to day week to week that your heart can start to open more and more at the beginning of each session and by the end can be even open a little bit more if it’s willing and if it’s not that’s perfectly okay too again there’s no right or wrong there’s just observation there’s just observing because what we’re learning to do here is turn on the observer for your internal experience and learning to observe and be with your stuckness that part of you that’s difficult or challenging and can you just let this area be stuck it might hurt it might suck it might be painful it might even be coming beautiful now and nice maybe it started out painful and as the hours and minutes and days and weeks went by it’s gotten lighter and lighter and lighter and can you just welcome that tail and that’s perfect and now can you just take this last moment and just let all of this go as much as your body’s willing there is no right answer to that just whatever your body does with that just let it all go and just be with the moment and just notice how you feel now you can do this every day you can do this every day for the next week for the next month on any area you’re really stuck and just notice if you start to have a breakthrough sometimes i take an hour walk and i just welcome over and over and i’m with whatever i’m feeling listening to the most relaxing music i always put on some nice music that relaxes me and helps me to process a little better but you don’t have to whatever works for you sometimes i sit and i specifically will sit and shut my eyes open my heart to the environment and go as deep as i can being with the feelings i know that eventually there will be a change that’s just what happens that if you do this every day and you stick to it something has to shift and then when it shifts you start to get distinct feelings and emotions and stuff coming out of your body and that’s when you can really begin releasing again and revealing what’s beyond each release revealing the greater aspect of yourself the only thing that’s holding you back is the attachment or the aversion and you’re probably averse to feeling something you’re probably averse to experiencing something and by sitting there and just being with it meditating on it observing it eventually the obser obser the uh the aversion part of yourself begins to weaken and eventually fail and that’s when you can really get back to the real work again so hopefully you’re getting some value out of this it’s just a little different idea than i usually do we’re gonna be doing more with revealing going deeper and deeper and i just wanted you to experience this and i really want to hear how this experience was for you because it’s going to really tell me over the next few weeks what you guys want to learn from revealing if this is working for you if you want to go deeper so make sure to comment in this video and let me know i’m going to be checking this one out specifically make sure to share you know anybody that stuck anywhere in life and they just want a little guided practice to get comfortable feeling the area they’re stuck in please share this with them help them out you know and help us grow the channel and with that said make sure you like and subscribe if you haven’t subscribed already so you can get all the videos coming up with all the revealing process videos as we head towards our miami event we’re going to be bringing out more content the last thing is i want you to comment and tell me what’s specifically in this area you want to learn more about because that’s what i what i’m here for is to help bring more really good content to you so i look forward to sharing more with you over the weeks to come and uh i’m going to invite you to have a beautiful day and and and maybe you want to listen to this again go through it again go through it daily for a bit until you can start doing it on your own and then when you start doing it on your own you could even start dropping the words and just being with the feelings that’s ultimately what works just be with the feeling a little bit more each day until everything kind of starts to drop in and relax um i love doing these with you and i’ll see you in the next video you guys are all awesome and remember only the confident really though take care have a beautiful day you.