Open Sky House Residents in Satsang with Pari

Apr 23, 2021 13:46 · 9116 words · 43 minute read

welcome parry hey john david namaste this is very beautiful you know that this technology technology allows us to take away any distance between us amazing isn’t it amazing i’ve seen lately this beautiful little clip that was attached to your newsletter so i think i have seen this okay was that the kindergarten film or was that the film with isaac i saw both and we enjoyed yesterday with our daughter mira that one with the kids sometimes it’s not easy to know which of the kids you know and which tell me happy to be with you on this level online but i feel very strong this connection with you guys that it looks very comfortable very cozy very sweet very sweet one day one day we will surely meet also in person physical so i i have a question about your music actually how did your meeting with papaji influenced your music making a musician many many years before i met osho and papaji actually i met also late 70s and papaji i met in first time physically in january 92 last century so by by the time i met papaji i had a concept that since music is an instrument to to get very much um engaged and identified with being a creator being a great musician being carried away by these emotions that music is giving us i i was not playing any music actually for maybe two years and um because i thought this is too dangerous too much musical ego coming up and it was disturbing in an old pune i had the experience that the musicians had a hard time to stay really with the music instead with their personalities you see when you perform when you do any kind of performance the tendency is very strong to get identified with what you have done and created and i was somehow bothered by this sensation so already in pune i had stopped to do music that was many years before and i was always playing for myself at home i was playing to to love to devotion to god but i didn’t want to perform publicly and actually in some incidents in lucknow it happened that papaji made me aware that this concept is also something to get rid of and he invited me during a wedding party there were quite some marriages happening in lucknow in those days and he was visiting and he took me along with him and then he said as if he knew that i was playing guitar give him a guitar and let him play and sing so suddenly there was a guitar in my hands and i and i played and improvised just something and that’s how actually that’s how it started and incoming christmas i think this was christmas 93 or 94 in lucknow i prepared a beautiful song along with some other friends actually this was a bajan which was sung by george harrison you know i was a great beatles fan i loved the beatles and i loved i loved that vibe of the music and still it it is very strong present with me i love this beautiful energy they they were giving musically so george harrison was a big musical idol of mine in those days and on one album of his there was his song called govindam govinda and so on and so on so i was always in love with this song and then had the idea to perform this song with some friends to papaji and he loved it so much that i saw that there were tears rolling down his cheeks of happiness because papaji was a krishna bhakta all his life he started his youth his young life as a child of somebody who was chanting along with his mother his mother was always chanting krishna bajans and he was a krishna bhakta so whenever it was something about krishna it was touching him very strongly i didn’t not know this at this time he told me later actually and that was everywhere written than in the books about him but he had told me that krishna was always with him since childhood and he loved this song so i kind of took it as a yeah as a yes to go deeper again into that and like and i felt a certain joy coming up again playing music with friends with people there was no trace of satya yet at this point i was busy with other relationships at this time or rather no relationships because i was having another concept by the time that i should be alone having had so many troubles from relationships before knowing my weak spots about this being with somebody losing yourself in the other expectations and and you know all that stuff i decided to be alone and i was quite long time alone actually actually maybe one or two years one yeah one two years before i met satya so i was experimenting with music and being with myself and getting lost in the community there especially in this ocean called papaji so and at one point i met also satya destiny brought me into her guest house renting a room from her that’s how we got to practice some music together actually first we came together through music and then i saw she saw that we both love music and truth so in that combination brought us also physically together and our hearts melted and our mouths started to sink together and yeah and i cannot i cannot take it on my part that i met satya or she met me and we had this music thing going on it took quite some time actually till we really made music together on a professional level like we did two years after that it took about two years that i was still reluctant to go professionally into it professionally meaning writing songs composing songs which were flowing through me but i was kind of still keeping it out of the door i wanted to meditate rather be quiet there was some concept there you know not to get lost and it was enough having a girlfriend by the time but not not also another girlfriend inviting music so i was having enough to do with one girlfriend so actually she was making music with somebody else in those days and i was very happy about it i thought that party is taking care for she’s happy with music with somebody else and i can enjoy myself and later two years later we just happened we sang few times in front of papaji she danced for him i played some improv improvised chords along with somebody playing flute and that was the beginning actually of our musical friendship that we still have till today that was more than 20 years ago i would say 25 years ago yeah my god it sounds terrible huh stuck with love and music yes did i did i refer to your question actually i think so now yes yes okay okay okay okay we have a lot of people who would like to meet you directly so please i’ll whisper in there here yeah that’s good so this is kieran who actually is a drummer and he’s leading our band okay he used to have a school of drumming in berlin but uh he left that to uh join our community kieran hey nice to meet you hi kira nice to meet you drama from berlin could it be that i saw you too in that little clip um yes yes oh he was playing with the kids yeah yeah yes beautiful energy beautiful so sweet music such a great channel isn’t it yeah you see i was always a bit fighting with that because i thought silence is somehow higher or better or keeping my mouth shut or don’t not doing anything not even music although i always loved music since since early school days when i was playing in a school band most days it was more like blues rock and then jazz and all that stuff and later a few years later i discovered meditation and spirituality and then i thought i have to give it up this music and now i find such a great teacher in such a great chance to pour love out through that channel isn’t it so beautiful yeah since i’m here and playing music is much different for me yeah so before i when i was like a professional i at the idea want to prove something i have to be at a certain level and in the beginning it was the same here yeah i was like feeling a bit arrogant like i’m a musician and i know what it’s like and i know what the groove is like and then people told me completely different language in a non-musical language play deeper play something like this play with more love and i this was a big challenge for me but everything got more more simple more um effortless yeah beautiful and then the last time there had some i’m having some bit darker faces now and a bit more pain and sadness and out of this um i would say out of this acceptance out of this letting all this stay yeah something changed in the music yeah there is there is more more flow and more creativity and just something coming up without any effort yeah before there was always oh let’s try this and this would be nice and uh okay i’m very interested in his style in this instrument and now being in a bit more um the state some thing just comes out without without any doing anything and um yeah so on different instruments and this is a very great experience yeah sounds great there’s nothing of i need to to prove something it sounds like you invited that so-called dark space or heavy whatever into the music and it had the chance to transform along with you beautiful instead of trying to keep it out and perform nicely you invited that dark thing dark space whatever that was so heavy into that into that and then it had the chance to to go through some transformation with you and the music beautiful it sounds great i mean music is such a transformational force it’s it’s just like many other arts but allow me to be a bit egoistic about it i find music one of the one of the arts maybe the art that is directly connecting with a deeper sense of experiencing art because it’s the the visual part including which is as they detect also newly uh i read newly an interesting book a neurological psychoneurology about hearing and and seeing that hearing is a very deep experience in our bodies and allows to open up many more associations and experience levels than mere visual anyway i love painting too by the way and uh but my heart is more with music i like the the feeling of sound and harmony you see it’s like like in a relationship when the with the when the people are too close together and with the tunes are too close it doesn’t sound very harmonious i have to be a certain distance between one note and the other then there’s some kind of harmony they they sound harmonious now the sound very very strong in the body yeah and yeah the last times the singing the mantras is more much more stronger yes much stronger much more taking me away for taking me out of the mind of whatever you say oh yeah there are some nice other mantras too like here comes the sun deep i’m open for any kind of mantra but talking about mantras the sanskrit mantras have such a strong power in the words inherent that you really get to feel when when you practice it for some time and really dive into it closing eyes and opening heart it’s a it’s incredible it’s there’s some hidden secret kiss in there and i think that is the only reason why we still continue to do that because that entertainment thing about it is quite boring actually and it’s also quite tiring and but that secret silent soft kiss that explodes in the heart very quietly very suddenly very joyously that is what what keeps me actually doing this it’s a very very sweet experience in the heart talk between lovers thanks my guru my technical guru actually his family comes from munich so oh i’m sitting right now here in munich i’ll ask my parents to show up if you like yeah send them by for a cup of tea no problem if they’re open to sing anytime yeah they could they could probably maybe you have to hand out the guitar this time now okay he’s a guitar player your father or yeah oh good beautiful i love i love that saying of uh i think it was somebody from the beatles maybe even george harrison he said i’m i’m playing the guitar but i’m not a guitarist i love to sing but i’m not a singer so any anyway send them by then we can sing together no problem when i look at you it makes me feel very safe technically how how is this happening you’re emanating this this vibe that nothing can go wrong technically you’re good well man beautiful man beautiful man we saw some pictures of you as well yesterday my my daughter immediately recognized you all on some photos with longer hair oh really okay yeah yeah she can come as well if you’re coming we are seriously thinking about it and if this lockdown situation was not there we would have anyway visited already each other last year when we met in rishikesh with john david we had already an arrangement to come by and i was looking forward and then i think one week or two weeks later it was the first um lockdown and we have been locked up since then basically yeah so it will happen soon um i brought a question but i want to ask a different question yes it’s related um a question of trust um yeah since there’s a yeah hesitation or a mistrust like not not enough trust to just stay with myself and stay go go inside and be with see with is this the question or um well the question is um in in in moments of um of stress or something when when doubts or stress come up it’s very hard to discriminate whether to to act upon the stress ideas i have to do something i have to do something or what to do in that moment or to trust to trust the silence yeah yeah you see dearest brother um i trust that you completely take care of this technical part and i feel completely happy feeling that trust and what we often mistake is the same problem like with love and some other beautiful feelings like that we often attribute these feelings having to do with somebody else like love immediately has to do with somebody else that’s what we think often or trust has to do with something some situation some emotion some thought somebody or something outside ourselves and this is quite a hard lesson to learn in life and it’s a beautiful lesson to learn that trust just as love and other feelings like that very deep feelings like that have to do only with the being with oneself even to say being with oneself is is a linguistical problem or trusting oneself because they’re still too involved trust and self it’s basically the quietening of this issue that there is something or somebody or some situation outside of myself that i need to trust or reach a goal of trust permanent trust against something poured out of my heart i would rather advise to experience the doubting and to look into the stress to experience that negative side of it and to really deeply look into this and to feel that we are experiencing that what we’re experiencing right now not being forced but apparently according to our conditioning that’s what comes up allowing that it may take us deeper into another deeper experiential field which is more taking responsibility for all our emotions all our experiences and when that feeling of responsibility grows then there is no question anymore of things that happened to me from outside or situation or stress and how to deal with that i take responsibility i am with the situation i am with the moment i’m flowing with what wants to appear in front of me within me outside of me whatever there is no gap anymore that gap is finished it’s closed and in that moment we experience the deeper meaning of trust which is basically being friendly to oneself not allowing any situation or any any outside call whatever happens it’s not even not allowing it’s simply not possible anymore the moment we are completely accepting that what wants to appear and wants to happen and it’s not always easy sweet chocolate things that want to appear some situations are truly challenging and god thanks it’s like that otherwise we would live in a chocolate cake of spiritual illusions so whenever we fall out of that so-called trust it’s actually a moment to celebrate wow great so there was a situation that is powerful enough with my active identification with my active cooperation to drag me out to let me go on another merry-go-round what a great teaching what a great situation to look at it to experience it that’s why i say it’s actually more helpful to experience than the negative part of trust than trying to always stay within the trust trust is something that grows like a sweet flower in the heart the more we see the fact that there is nothing else existing other than love and trust another word for for for beingness is trust how can you not trust your breathing for example while you’re in trust while you’re in stress whatever happens you’re still breathing maybe a bit more agitated but still you’re breathing similarly whatever happens is accepted and taking into the heart of the present moment and then it’s not an issue anymore so it’s a lot to do with accepting whatever wants to appear let it appear letting it appear that is that is a big one so i’m not hunting for the positive result i’m looking at the negative situations sometimes they’re a greater teacher aha so this managed again i was again out of context out of everything i just was running after being good efficient trusting that is just um another trick of the mind to pull us away from silence and peaceful accepting difficult situations thanks are you doing vipassana no actually funnily enough that you should say that because at this very moment we’ve got about 14 people sitting in a room together for two days blindfolded doing vipassana yeah right now maybe maybe i’m affected okay an old pooh night was one of my favorite groups i’ve done it a few times yes i have prepared a question so my question uh is uh on your spiritual journey um was it more like a gradual change or did you have one or more stronger moments where something happened or strongly changed both i would say gradual and a couple of sudden moments that were very decisive decisive how you say but all in all a process that has not found an end to it yet i’m hoping one day to find some end but it’s it’s no end there’s no end so it’s a very interesting and beautiful question because we have a concept that we reach somewhere isn’t it and the disappointing fact about it is that we maybe gradually in some cases also very fast and explosive explosively suddenly we let go of all kinds of expectations that we should be somewhere else than where we are or somebody else than who we are it drops off as a cloud of illusionary waiting for godot or for something to arrive call it spiritual enlightenment call it whatever it’s all illusions in all dreams that with the help of continuous disillusionment help to open the eyes for the real that is already the case and it’s already in front of us within us and all around us happening and the and the gap between me and that simply melts away they were in my because you asked me i want to be very precise as precise as possible i i felt when i was 18 or 19 i had a strong call to go to india for some reason and to look for a spiritual master and first i was drawn towards an indian spiritual master who was called satyasai baba he was coming in my dreams and i was dreaming of him almost on a daily base for some time of my life i was 19 or 20 sometimes to the point that i was disturbed by it so when i was 22 i was studying medicine and psychology in dusseldorf in those days and decided to go to india to see this man this master satya sai baba since i’m dreaming about him and on the way to to his place to his ashram which was in south india near bangalore city i made a little stop over in puna and i fell in love with osho he was talking about zorba the buddha in those days and me i was always very much in love with zorba the greek and never thought about the possibility that zorba and buddha could be one somehow something touched me very deeply and still that desire to travel on on my spiritual surge was very strong enough so i left pune after a month or something with a heavy heart though but i still managed to leave because i was a serious seeker you see and i did not just stay there because it was beautiful i wanted to have the real thing so i so i left osha in the community and i traveled to south india met this guru i will make it short i met this guru and he gave me some vibhuti some ash which i still have some part of it and and there was in my heart a deep feeling of okay so what and i was very disappointed disillusioned because uh this was somehow the goal of my dreams of my spiritual dream of my endeavor and after five or six days i left and stayed alone in a place called hampi for a month living alone like a hermit and there i met an old friend of osho while osha was a professor in jabalpur university he had a friend and that friend happened to live in in hampi and i met that guy and we used to do yoga together he we were singing together and then he was showing me also some pranayama exercises and he told me after a month you know what young man i think you should go back to puna and be with my old friend and give him also greetings from me and he wrote me a little letter and i took this letter and next morning i was on the train to puna and i was my heart was jumping of happiness and joy to go back and experience whatever was that to be experienced so it was a gradual thing yeah looking back or looking to the front of where everyone looks it is a gradual thing and still it’s helped some kind of reveal which is also my own creation there is no veal it’s just my own creation everything is my own creation it helps that own creating faculty called mind to be quiet and that quietness found something like a peak when i met papaji there were few decisive moments with him when there was no need or no urge or no motivation no desire to create anything anymore not even a desire for freedom or whatever i i was after and um yeah and this is going on this happiness of not creating and being completely in a continuous creating state that is the absurdity or the the strange thing about it things being still being created around me within me with me without me but uh i think i’m i’m i’m not creating anymore you see and this makes a big difference in a way i don’t know if it’s uh understood what i’m saying but but meeting papaji was a definite cut in that experiencing me as somebody who does something and not in us in a in a verbal uh sense he was my spiritual teaching was actually tickling he tickled me i had a beautiful deep question and he just called me to the front to sit on his lap and i was sitting on his lap like a little boy on on his daddy’s lap and he was just tickling me saying oh it’s a very good boy this is a very good boy and i just cracked up i was just finished and cried and and and he was hugging me and i was completely out of any context it took me a few days to come back to some kind of a context or point of how you say reference nothing seemed to be connected with each other my girlfriend in those days i was with she she couldn’t handle me so she had to leave and after a few days i could sort out things a bit better purpose so that was a very and then my mind tried to make an experience out of it and it continued to let go also of that and it’s still continuing to not hang on to anything that life is too beautiful too precious then hanging on to anything that happens that’s what’s happening is much more fun and it’s much more exciting than whatever has happened even that experience is also just an experience and it helped me to enter something that is continuously that is it you’re preparing the cook you’re cooking in the kitchen yeah beautiful yeah and there i can see um i’m also often not to cook and i learned during this more than 10 years now often just to wait what to cook and then it comes during the day and this i cook them and then it develops during the cooking i’m still developing all kinds of things which are different than i started with okay so this is very beautiful to live from this from this part or from this however um because it’s much easier um before i was thinking very precise what i want to copy and then i buy and i had to plan everything and so it was also touching me very much what you talk with with own about this goal and good experience and to welcome the negative side under the negative of this more than to to to always look at this positive that it comes out positive and then you come and stress and to to get it together i like very much so you are so you have a cook that allows food to happen yeah and you’re responsible for that creativity most of the time i would say beautiful yes one learns like this to go out of one’s own way isn’t it and then things happen smoothly and beautifully harmoniously friendly i was also responsible for the kitchen while i was in dusseldorf in the sunya’s community for some time so i love i love cooking very much it’s very very challenging very beautiful because if if if the food is not good one gets immediate results from the by the others isn’t it yeah i’m wondering that i’m also still like it every day again it’s it’s like a new and it’s a challenge it’s a beautiful challenge many things come up cook up i had also prepared a question but it was a bit similar to julia’s question um the development since you’re awakening with this property all the time with property until now um how you feel is changing in this time how you perceive the world or perceive faster or everything actually how do i perceive the world and everything including satya you can leave the world we just like to know about satya exactly exactly much more interesting we are both i think what what makes our relationship and our love work and and and and grow is that we are both married to each other but also to to a third partner if you may call and he’s actually the closest of us it’s our own self and she has exactly the same love affair and the same deep love and connection with with that which we were shown by papaji in lucknow and before that by osho and this has been always the the kit as this so as they say in german the glue for our relationship there are always times you know when things get rough between people because two personalities they’re always challenges but we don’t expect that these challenges or these expectations really have to meet the other they are they are allowed to be there but they don’t need to be met by the other i don’t have a desire to be understood by her or by anybody anymore this is not so important as it used to be in old days it was always there that the desire to be understood you see how many nights we were discussing in those days in student days whole nights discussing about useless things and there was never an end to it and me personally i i don’t experience actually so much to be true if if you ask me clearly what changed or what is i don’t experience so much sometimes i i wonder there’s there’s surely all the time things happening but i cannot say i separate myself from what’s happening so that i can experience it you see there is no interest anymore to experience things as a separated somebody who then photographs it or talks about it or remembers them or gets high on them or down on them things are coming up all the time things as life is happening it’s it’s a beautiful flow and i don’t keep record i can talk about it but there’s no interest to experience anything more than what is happening that beautiful real one to one where even the number one is too much some difficult to talk about it but that is this love affair love affair with one actually love affair with one if it makes sense yeah the other is not so important also myself also the connection the relation to myself the reference point also not so important the reference point from which everything makes sense and it is there it’s allowed to be there within this body-mind thing but it’s not something that i refer to i love your question it’s a very beautiful deep question i would wish to to to ask to ah to answer you more about that maybe some other time no no it’s fine i experienced saying with the community also i could always save it like at the end we are alone nobody can really yes especially in a community look you are living there so many beautiful people together but isn’t it true that at the end of the day everybody’s alone during the day too your response for yourself you’re living with yourself and for yourself together with other people but one is actually alone whether one is in a relationship or not one is alone and it’s not something that that’s missing anybody there one still feels that something is missing one is not ready for a relationship actually or one should just do it or one should just jump into it and experience the dream and the illusion the community will make me happy the husband or the wife will make me happy i’m getting lost in this community of people i’ve had this dream you know i lived also in america and the community with my sannyasin friends and we were believing in the community instead of believing in in the love and awareness and consciousness which is in our heart and sharing this is the community not just our little personal egos and likes and dislikes this was a beautiful experience by the way and when everything collapsed by the end many were disappointed oh the whole thing collapsed i i was not disappointed for the simple reason that for me it was never about what we were doing and creating together it was beautiful it was great the streets the houses we were building i was actively building houses but when this whole thing collapsed i realized that the essence was this love affair with myself and this beautiful man in those days i was projecting this beautiful man on osho bhagwan in those days for me he never ceased to be admired and loved from my heart even if this whole thing collapsed because it was not about proving to the world that we have a great place you know where there was no uh sexual harassment no aggression and all that stuff it was a beautiful place but there was something deeper that was happening there and and that is for me the heart of our community like what i sense when i look at this beautiful people that this is actually the point that we keep the body healthy and strong and clean and organized and structured as good as possible so everybody contributes to that it’s like when you brush your teeth and clean your body so that commune needs also cleaning and preparing and love and care without need to be acknowledged for that because i don’t want to say thank you my right hand that you brush these teeth again it’s one organism but it’s finally about a deeper goal of being in harmony and in love with oneself this is this absolutely clear thank you beautiful to meet the king beautiful i’m very honored to be invited a beautiful community of yours and thanks thanks to my friend john david who made this possible we can meet and have this lovely meeting together isn’t it so you have been in the community 10 years i heard much longer 15 years 15 years what did you learn nothing i hope i unlearned a few things hopefully clever okay we thought we would reveal a little more of the king it’s already revealed everything is reviewed everything revealed beautiful man beautiful man what did you unlearn what was the first thing that you unlearned i haven’t unlearned it totally not totally i’ve written it down a question ah okay and first i wrote thank you for this meeting i’m a bit careful uh um i played it safe and i wrote the moments i’m clearly identified with a person then for sure i’m not good enough yeah so i should be different or do something differently so maybe you can say something about it no that is gone that is good you have a better you have a better question come on i can see you have a better question come i’m here it’s beautiful that in this moment that that prepared question is already answered already we talked so long ago you know that it’s not worth it isn’t it to be prepared and all that stuff 15 years in this commune ask me something now i don’t see a clear question so we are in the same boat i don’t have a clear answer to that thank you i see only oneness looking at oneness silence talking to silence beauty looking at beauty and no expectation looking at no expectation readiness to face the moment looking at readiness to face the moment beyond concepts beyond ideas isn’t it beautiful beyond the garbage of our past experiences and questions and answers you see what my dear brother what i have learned or unlearned is not it’s nothing to do with a knowledge that i carry around it’s the courage to meet moment to moment breath by breath that which i don’t know and can never possibly know because if i knew it it would be a dead thing stinking fish papaji used to call it which one carries around in one’s pocket so basically to be with oneself or to be with love or to be with god with tau with silence it’s just the courage to be in a flow of reality in a flow of honesty in a flow of no neediness to be known no needing to be known to have the courage to not know anything about the momentum automatically by the way that what we talked before with om distrust pops up because all what we are carrying within us and has never been used authenticity intelligence humor friendliness heart all these things they pop up the moment you don’t dare you don’t care to look in your knowledge box you see what i mean they all come up and one doesn’t need to know anything about them they’re there and i look at my brother in exactly the same way you’re a beautiful man i’m so honored to meet you beautiful beautiful beautiful huh yes very nice well are you from germany actually you have from belgium originally belgium belgium archer nice r-a-j r-aj yes that’s the king yes i was promised a new name lately okay ask the boss i have to ask again beautiful what name you can give to a king man no my name would be anam nameless this is govinda govinda go oh me musician maybe soon this life will make you think this life will make you sing you will see so out of the blue he decided to learn the tabla so he’s having he’s got an indian teacher and he’s learning the tabla beautiful you found an indian tabla teacher in the area far out great beautiful you’re living long time in the community five years five years hmm beautiful what were you doing before um i was studying something just say um that’s something i didn’t really like to do you know okay i’m yeah very much um normal society kind of things like what everyone should do and has to do and what i thought i should do my family sounds like law it was yeah yeah well it was really tough really tough so good to escape that huh yeah yeah you take care of yourself now that is beautiful thank you thank you nice to hear we contribute the most you see to our society the more we take care of ourselves isn’t it this goes for a community this course for society for nation at large and now we see actually the negative effects of this because it is society at large has failed to teach this our children and that’s why i love watching this clip yesterday that that i saw from your community to teach the children early enough that they are responsible for their feelings happiness responsibility comes along with happiness to be with oneself instead of expecting others to to tell us what to do and where to go and how to behave you see that it’s how much it has failed the system to be told and to act according to what one is told to believe to do to practice that is really the challenge and i think in future we would need many more communities like yours to function and to teach our children our future generations and ourselves isn’t it how to trust oneself to be what what we are to bring our abilities and intelligence that is in the heart out so that it can act it can manifest it can create it can share instead of just learning how one should be this is such a stupid old paradigm and it’s it’s time that it’s disappeared isn’t it it’s time it’s it’s it’s it’s rotten it stinks so beautiful to see the courage of people trying to explore themselves first before they take care of the so-called humanity and others first finding oneself and happiness fulfillment because we can share only what we have we cannot share something we don’t have how is one supposed to love if one does not know what it is how can one give happiness if one does not have it feel it it’s not possible so everybody learn to pretend and this is the result what we face these days in the world a massive conglomeration of pretenders on many levels people that pretend to know to guide and some pretend even to follow govinda govindo govinda govinda ha you know how much i love this name govinda this was when i i talked before at the meeting of this evening when when i was 18 19 that i felt this attraction for for india when i heard this song from george harrison since then this word govinda always lets my heart ring vibrate with happiness and joy when i hear that beautiful beautiful do you have a question also or well i mean i i i wrote down a question and i wanted i wanted to get to know you you said about papaji yeah that um you said you said that he was tickling you so this was kind of an answer to my question my question was what was what moments or what what what situations what um what really was happening inside you and which what really touched you very deeply like what was going on really in the heart and how you were deeply touched and how it happened govinda what what touched me the most undescribable deep love and relaxation in that moment of being tickled the sensation of a deep deep deep relaxation and like if if if i was a blown up balloon full of air full of whatever desires whatever ideas and i felt very lovingly that somebody stick a needle into that balloon and the air went out and a deep sense of relaxation actually relaxation it was not any mental thing it was just a relaxation and a cocky shock that one can be relaxed so deeply so deeply i never had i had experienced many relaxation in massages in meditations but that kind of relaxation was it’s still with me when i talk about it it’s it is still with me it’s still there it’s on a cellular level when every cell is allowed to relax and just cooperate and function the way she it is supposed to function and there was nobody interfering and this nobody was such a stress and this tickling allowed me to relax very very deeply without leaving any desire to to d relax again it doesn’t mean that there were no difficult situations coming up all the time on a daily basis coming up thanks god and on a daily basis this which is real is allowed to face with all its honor dignity and awareness and love whatever situation wants to be met and the good thing the good news is i don’t have to do it because i was only messing up things it is love is for me the deepest and love and trust is synonymous and i just couldn’t help it you see i didn’t have a choice i didn’t have a choice maybe there was some preparation required and i had been 12 13 years with osho before that tickling could be effective if you if you will and i could lately i saw this movie you see there was lately this movie about also how how much love and gratefulness is also for having met this man in in in his body was an incredible beautiful experience and many friends from lucknow days there for some reason against osho later they turned to be against him and i find it unnecessary hustle and comparing everybody is the way he or she is supposed to be and in osha’s way it was his way to be in papaji’s ways it was his way how he was programmed by existence to behave as a person and to me he said once what are you waiting for you were born in greece and in greece people like to talk so talk because uh once he invited me to sit on his lap and and he said now you give satsang you tell the people what happened to you i was sitting on this lap and i was supposed to ex to expand into uh talk and and sharing knowledge and whatever that’s what he said now speak speak and he was pushing me speak tell what happened and i could not there was no words coming and then he tapped on my shoulder and said you were born in greece and in greece people so we laughed and laughed together so honor honor your your body honor your surroundings honor the even the programs that made you be the person you are ultimately everything is contributing to that beautiful moment that we are experiencing right now everybody comes from somewhere so that is beautiful to honor and dignify that to not look back in a negative way everything is contributing beautifully to that sweet innocence in this moment we have one last guy who would like to meet you his name is sagar the ocean ocean where is the ocean here you have sometimes high waves and sometimes low waves huh exactly hopefully some deepness hopefully hopefully is is the wave hoping or who is hoping i don’t know ah an ocean that does not know lotion high weight low waves hoping that there is some depth your nature is depth itself you know that yes don’t believe in it always it seems yeah that’s good you don’t need to believe it as long as you don’t believe it there’s a chance you might really know it one day very good yeah belief has just lies like lies they say in german lies have short legs they don’t run very long belief is the same trip you see it’s great you don’t believe just is enough to be the ocean is quite enough i find whoever gave you the name it’s a beautiful reminder to trust and be what you are the ocean not looking for depths the ocean doesn’t look for depths it is the depth itself and when waves rise they let them rise and when they sink they let them sink disappointment rises disillusionment rises ecstasy rises then it falls back all manifestations are allowed to happen they’re welcomed and you in the middle you’re resting as pure knowledge pure understanding as to who you are not looking for depths not looking for experiences because this is taking you away an ocean that looks for depth becomes a little pond yeah i mean that’s true it’s somehow um about relaxation as you said before it feels like melting uh then yeah like not being there yeah and then relax yeah isn’t it it’s amazing how the mind always tries to pull us somehow deeper higher permanent it has it has a beautiful experience of awakening and then immediately the idea comes how can i be permanently awake then another job comes up then you work on your permanence and you know everything impermanent it’s it’s a very very interesting and worthwhile looking at thing to look how the mind is acting how it’s fooling ourselves it’s always trying to pull us out into another state another person another deeper experience something that is not the case right now no and this is the big lie mind is a liar basically and who is mind it’s it’s me it’s you yeah it’s not just one faculty that this whole thing this whole persona is a is is a lie and we often want to make it only more beautiful it’s we go to ikea to beautify our houses and some satsangs to beautify our knowledge you know to add a little bit some cherry on the cake the invitation is like the ocean to be this ocean that you are without making it beautiful or ugly or deeper god life has made us tremendously beautiful and perfect the way we are for some reason for some reason and this is interesting to look for that reason sometimes it’s interesting we are never quite happy with what we seem to be we want to improve on this and on that and this brings us into trouble and spiritual masters who are really worth the salt in their cells as one says they don’t teach anything new other than being and trusting what we already are designed to be beyond the conceptual desired states of the future and beyond developments beyond processed achievements right now and hear what we are in this moment and it’s not such a high state of unachievable heights it’s all projections of the mind is just resting relaxing accepting the fact that there is nowhere to go in fact where can one go that’s why i somehow also like this lockdown situation because many people who are used to do this and that and be super busy traveling here there they are forced now by this by the situation to to stay to stay at home with themselves many freak out many freak out on that many couples divorce i read somewhere that that divorce rate is rising since the lockdown they are they are facing each other themselves and the other don’t escape and what else other than love beauty and surrender and a deep desire for living in peace with oneself what other than this is the meaning and the goal of all this what we call life and the meaning of contentment fulfillment and please let’s get rid of these ideas that awakening number one number two number three it’s all the spiritual achievement department which is bothering so many people on the path to freedom they make a path out of it with cornerstones with crossroads turn left go right while they are all the time all right all ready and all right beautiful people responsible people intelligent people bathed in happiness bliss and freedom already and it’s perfectly okay to be imperfect even that don’t try to be perfect first before you can achieve anything that is so immense important you see i was born in greece and we were not so obsessed with this idea of perfection you see maybe this was when i came to germany i was a young boy and and i realized that in this country there’s a very strong current of trying to be perfect or total and maybe that was also why many germans were so attracted also to osho because he was talking often about be total don’t be lukewarm be hot or cold but they often they they didn’t get the point it doesn’t mean that you have to manifest something that is not already there be totally yourself absolutely yourself if you relax relax if you sleep sleep if you’re wired then be wired if you’re nervous be nervous but don’t try to be a perfect human being because you are it already this trial is a disease it’s a problem just be flow take the challenge of every moment’s situation and trust that you will respond in an intelligent way and if this trust is there the intelligence will support you it always supports the one who trusts the one who does not know he always gets the right support in the right moment in the right way the one who is always prepared and wants to be perfectly prepared he’s missing the whole point he’s never really prepared when it’s about being there being prepared the best preparation is to travel very light open heart open view and innocent like a child my dear brother i know you want to finish with your song it’s all the same sagar sagar it’s all the same you just want you just want an excuse to sing your song again to sing a little mantra with you this is called ompurnam adaham purnamidam it’s from the manduki upanishad and it’s the meaning is very beautiful it means here is perfection there is perfection so where you are is already everything perfect where you want to go is already perfect you cannot add anything to perfection you cannot take away subtract subtract anything from perfection perfection is all there is so it fits i was just reminded talking to sagar about it um did a me so oh so parry thank you so much so beautiful thank you thank you john david thanks everybody for having me in your living room it’s very beautiful this zoom because you know it’s amazing that it’s so present you know we i mean i completely forgotten that you’re not actually here in the room it’s very very intense this zoom yeah beautiful yeah thanks thank you very much also from satya to everybody and to you and to the whole community she’s uh visiting a friend otherwise she would have been here with me tonight yeah and if your daughter likes to come when you visit us you’re all three welcome of course thank you everybody hey thank you thank you much love to you keep it up thank you whatever can whatever that is just keep it up much love much love you.