Mulligan Stew: The Flim Flam Man (1972)

MIKE: You want to eat over at my house tonight? MULLIGAN: Sure, but I gotta call my mom first. - We’ll call her from my place. I got some new records. We can do our homework together, and… FLIM FLAM MAN: Psst! MIKE: Huh? - Hey kids, come here! Psst! MULLIGAN: It’s a guy over there in the doorway. MIKE: I wonder who he is. FLIM FLAM MAN: Come here, kids, I want to talk to you. MULLIGAN: What do you want? FLIM FLAM MAN: I got something special for you. Something really good. MIKE: Wonder what he’s got. MULLIGAN: We don’t want any. - Now wait a minute, Mulligan. Let’s see what it is first. - No! FLIM FLAM MAN: Don’t be a square, kid. It won’t, uh, hurt you. Come here.

00:45 - MULLIGAN: No! - You take a look? I mean, just a look? - Mike, No! - Because what I want to show you is this, uh, book. Yeah, a free book filled with my special diets and amazing foods that I can sell you cheap, really cheap. - Mike, don’t do it, don’t take the book! MIKE: But it’s free, Mulligan. FLIM FLAM MAN: Yeah, Mulligan it’s free. You want one? MULLIGAN: No! - Well, that’s too bad, Mulligan. Because your friend here is gonna have all the fun. Gonna build strong muscles and get quick energy. Never have a cold again. Never have to eat any of those foods he doesn’t want to eat, like no vegetables, no fruits, nothing that he doesn’t like, no meat, no bread, no milk, nothing. MIKE: Nothing? FLIM FLAM MAN: Nothing. Because my book shows you 42 different ways how you can. Why you can live on one of my great quickie diets or special meals.

01:45 - Just take a food substitute pill and a little bit of water. Or eat rice, man. Nothing but rice morning, noon, and night and get pure. Really pure. MULLIGAN: Don’t take it, Mike. Don’t take the book. MIKE: Pure? FLIM FLAM MAN: Pure baby, like, pure. MULLIGAN: No, Mike! - Go on, do it! Thank you. MIKE: He gave me a pamphlet on a special diet, all for me. MULLIGAN: Well, you better throw that thing away because you know and I know that there’s no shortcut to good eating. You have to eat… - I don’t know, Mulligan. Some of the things he said are pretty good. I think I’m gonna try it. - Mike, I’m warning you, you might get sick or something. - Oh, Mulligan, what could happen? - It’s just no good, that’s all. [Music] [Music] MAGGIE: I’m Maggie. MICKI: I’m Micki. MIKE: I’m Mike. MANNY: I’m Manny. MULLIGAN: And I’m Mulligan. CHILDREN: And we’re Mulligan Stew. Yeah! SCIENTIST: Quick diets and fad diets don’t give you the essential nutrients your body needs to live and grow.

03:30 - MICKI: You need a variety of foods from all of the four food groups to live and grow. MANNY: You need food from the milk group to live and grow. MAGGIE: You need foods from the fruits and vegetable group to live and grow. MULLIGAN: You need food from the meat group to live and grow. WILBUR DOORIGHT: You need foods from the bread and cereals group to live and grow. MIKE: You need foods from the…

03:48 - MICKI: Milk group! MAGGIE: Meat group! MANNY: Fruits and vegetable group! MULLIGAN: The bread and cereal group! CHILDREN: That’s called a balanced diet! PUPPET: Quick diets. Leaving out important foods from your diet is no good. It’ll only affect your health. You have to eat right to do right and feel right. MANNY: Right on! [Traffic noise] [Music] [Singing] CHILDREN: Everybody’s body needs vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates, and fat. Everybody’s body needs minerals. Everybody has to know that. Don’t leave out a thing, ‘cause everybody knows nutrients are the things that help our bodies live and grow. Everybody’s body, every living thing, builds a strong body out of pro- pro- protein! Vitamins are the nutrients in the things you eat.

04:52 - Keep you fit and healthy from your head down to your feet. Everybody’s body needs vitamins. Proteins, carbohydrates, and fat. Everybody’s body needs minerals. Everybody has to know that. Don’t leave out a thing, ‘cause everybody knows nutrients are the things that help our bodies live and grow. In everybody’s body are minerals in small amounts. The quantity is small, but it’s getting them that counts. Fat and carbohydrates are needed in your diet.

05:34 - You can’t go on without them, so nobody should try it. Everybody’s body needs vitamins. Proteins, carbohydrates, and fat. Everybody’s body needs minerals. Everybody has to know that. Everybody has to know that. Everybody has to know that. Everybody has to know that. MULLIGAN: [Speaking] Mrs. Walton, just what does it mean when you hear about additives in your food? PEGGY WALTON: Well, Mulligan, additives are simply chemicals that either come from nature or are made in a laboratory as we’re in today. And they do all kinds of things that are basically either nutritious or they extend shelf life or they make foods more attractive. But just remember, Mulligan, that they have been tested by both industry and government and they’re there for a purpose. MANNY AND MICKI: So additives in your food are important.

06:37 - MAGGIE AND MIKE: Vitamin fortified foods are good for you. MIKE: Like milk, fortified with vitamin D. MAGGIE: And vitamin enriched bread. SCIENTIST: One reason foods are enriched is to put back the nutrients lost during processing. PUPPET: Oh, I don’t think I understand that. - For example, when flour is processed some of the vitamins are lost, so before baking bread, some of the vitamins are put back into the flour. This is called enrichment. FROG: You’re putting me on.

07:02 - WILBUR: No, it’s true, honest, I swear it. Ask my mother if you want to, it’s true. MULLIGAN: Vitamins are essential nutrients. PUPPET: Minerals are essential nutrients, like iron, calcium, and iodine. You get iron from meats like liver. MICKI: You get calcium from milk and cheese. MANNY: You get iodine from seafood and it’s in iodized salt. SCIENTIST: Protein is an essential nutrient. You get protein from meat, fish, chicken, eggs, peas, beans, and nuts. MAGGIE: Carbohydrates and fats are essential nutrients. You get carbohydrates from bread, cereal, spaghetti, macaroni, and noodles. MANNY: Hey, what’s happening? MULLIGAN: Hey Manny. Hi, girls.

07:43 - MICKI: Hi, ready to rehearse? - Well, um… MAGGIE: I got to get home early so I can finish my homework. MANNY: Hey, what’s with the bookworm over there? MULLIGAN: Oh, he got into some book some weird guy gave him on the street. MANNY: Book? MAGGIE: What weird guy? MIKE: Hey, listen to this diet. All I have to do is eat grapefruits and eggs for two months. Then all I’ll eat is mangoes and nuts. MAGGIE: Huh? MULLIGAN: See what I mean? MANNY: Hey Mike, let me see this book. MIKE: Sure, Manny, there are lots of quick diets in here for us. You can, uh, lose weight, gain it, put on inches, take ‘em off, grow hair, be beautiful, all in three days. MAGGIE: Yeah, I’d like to see that, too. - Sure. MICKI: Me too. I’d like to grow my hair longer than it is now. - And you don’t have to worry about eating or even when. MULLIGAN: Wait a minute, you guys will get sick or something.

08:25 - MAGGIE: Oh, Mulligan, stop being such a spoil sport. MANNY: Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with these diets. I mean, it’s the latest thing now. MICKI: Yeah, everybody’s doing it. MAGGIE: Gee, I sure wish I could get a book of diets and shortcuts to eating like this. MANNY: Here’s one that you only have to eat rice, grains, and a few vegetables. Man, that sure saves me a lot of time. - Yeah. MICKI: Hey, where can we get a couple of those books? [Door squeaking] FLIM FLAM MAN: Someone looking to get a couple of my books? - Me. MAGGIE: Me too. MANNY: And one for me.

08:56 - MULLIGAN: No, they don’t! - Yes we do, Mulligan. Mind your own business. FLIM FLAM MAN: Yeah, Mulligan, mind your own business. ‘Cause my friends here want to deal with me. Right, kids? CHILDREN: Right! Yeah! MULLIGAN: No! I won’t let you! [Children laughing] MANNY: Look at Mulligan! FLIM FLAM MAN: Well sonny boy, why don’t you run along ‘cause, uh, your friends here and I have got a little, uh, business to transact. MULLIGAN: Don’t fall for this guy. These diets, these shortcuts, they’re not good for you! MIKE: Oh, Mulligan, stop being such a fraidy cat. MANNY: You’re too square, Mulligan.

09:31 - MICKI: Yeah, we can take care of ourselves. MAGGIE: Yeah, Mulligan, we’ve made up our minds. MULLIGAN: Please, don’t do it! FLIM FLAM MAN: I think, uh, your friends have made up their minds, sonny boy. MAGGIE: Yeah, Mulligan, we’ve made up our minds. MULLIGAN: I’ll get you later. FLIM FLAM MAN: Now, who wants to see my latest book with the amazing diet that slims off inches and purifies your whole system? [Children cheering] MULLIGAN: You need four-four-three-two.

Four servings a day of fruit and vegetables, 10:06 - four servings a day of bread and cereal, three servings a day of milk, two of meat. [Inhales] WILBUR: Four-four-three-two. Four servings of fruit and vegetables, three servings of bread and cereals, and two of… that’s wrong. Four servings of breads and cereals three servings of… that’s wrong. Four servings of fruit vegetables, four servings of bread and cereals, three servings of milk a day, and two servings of meat. [Crowd cheering] ANIMALS: Hooray! FROG: Ribbit, ribbit ribbit. DUCK: Remember, a balanced diet means eating the right amounts of food from the four food groups. Your body needs this. PUPPET: You can’t eat just one good meal and expect to feel better right away. You have to eat a balanced diet regularly, every day, to feel on top of it all the time. SCIENTIST: There’s no shortcut to good health and good eating. You have to eat a balanced diet each day.

11:09 - DUCK: If you eat the proper amounts of the right foods regularly you needn’t take any vitamin pills or extra vitamins at all. You’ll get it all from the foods you eat. FROG: Ribbit. I didn’t know that. - That’s right, and the only extra vitamin you’ll need is some vitamin D, which you can pick up in a couple of glasses of vitamin D fortified milk each day. MULLIGAN: Vitamin D is an additive in milk. That’s why some additives are important, because they add vitamins, minerals, and proteins, nutrients that we need to stay healthy on. MAGGIE: Some additives help keep food fresh and tasty.

11:47 - MICKI: Some additives are to put back vitamins, minerals, proteins that are taken out when the food was processed. MANNY: Some additives are put there just to make the food taste good. [Guitar music] [Singing] MULLIGAN: Fad foods and quick diets are bad for you so don’t try it. They’ll slow you down and that is why it’s no good for you. There’s only one way to keep your body in line, there’s only one way for feeling fine. There’s only one way, and it’s yours and mine, and it’s eating a balanced diet. Fad foods and quick diets are bad for you so don’t try it. They’ll slow you down and that is why it’s no good for you. [Music] [Adding machine running] - [Speaking] Wilbur Dooright! Wilbur! I gotta talk to you! WILBUR: Not right now, I’m busy. - But this is important! - So it this! I’m doing my income tax.

What could possibly be more important than income tax? 13:45 - - The Mulligan Stew, they’re in danger! - Danger? Danger? What danger? Fear. Fear. What fear. Scared to death. Oh my gosh. - Whatever, come on, you’ve gotta help me! You’ve gotta help me get this guy! - Guy? What guy? - A weird and spooky guy. Real mysterious and strange. Evil, mean, and vicious! - Strange, mysterious, weird, evil, mean, and vicious? - Yes! Yes! No, Wilbur, no, come on! You’ve gotta help me! You’ve gotta help me stop him! - Very well. I’ll help you, Mulligan. I’ll help the kids from Mulligan Stew. After all, they need me, a man of caliber. They need my help, don’t they? - Yes, they do. - Very well. Hat. Scarf. Coat. Gloves. Briefcase. Umbrella. Galoshes. Very well then. Forward march.

15:28 - Hup! Hup! - Boy, what you gotta put up with these days with adults. PUPPET: Minerals are essential nutrients like iron, calcium, and iodine. You get iron from meats like liver. MICKI: You get calcium from milk and cheese. MANNY: You get iodine from seafood and it’s in iodized salt. WILBUR: You need vitamins, like vitamin A, which is found in, uh, uh, which is found in, um… MULLIGAN: Yellow vegetables, green leafy vegetables, and fruits. - Right. And you need B vitamins, which is found in, um… -Bread and cereals. - Yes, that’s also true. And, uh, and vitamin C is found in, uh… - Citrus fruits. - And vitamin D… - In vitamin D fortified milk. - Wait a minute, wait a minute. Give me a chance! Where was I? -Vitamin E! FROG: Ribbit! Vitamin K! WILBUT: I know them. I know them all, but you didn’t give me a chance! [Crying] SCIENTIST: Protein is an essential nutrient. You get protein from meat, fish, chicken, eggs, peas, beans, and nuts. [Whimpering] - Oh! And you need carbohydrates and fats.

16:50 - [Clapping] MULLIGAN: Come on, Wilbur! We’ve gotta get to them before it’s too late. WILBUR: I’m coming, I’m coming. - Can’t you go any faster? - Faster, faster. - What is it? - Sssh! - What is it? What is it? - Look, they’re with that guy, and he’s got ‘em right where he wants ‘em. - In the empty lot? - No, on a quick diet, and they’ll probably get real sick too. - What do we do? - What do you mean, what do we do? I’d think you had a plan by now! - A plan, me? Oh, of course, sure, a plan. - Good, then you have one? - No.

17:35 - FLIM FLAM MAN: Manny, how’s the rice? MANNY: Good, real good. - Did you have anything else to eat today? - No, I did just what the book told me. Rice, rice, and more rice. - Out of sight, Manny, ‘cause soon you’re gonna be strong and pure, man. Just keep eating that rice, eat that rice, man. -Okay, man. MAGGIE: I’ve been eating eggs and grapefruit, just like the book. It’s a terrific diet, I think.

17:55 - FLIM FLAM MAN: You think? But you want to be skinny like one of those New York models or Hollywood stars? Being skinny’s in, you know. - I want to be skinny, but it just gets boring eating eggs and grapefruits. - Forget boring. Just think how beautiful you’re gonna be. - Alright. MULLIGAN: See? You see? He’s got ‘em eating those crazy diets already. WILBUR: It’s terrible, just terrible. FLIM FLAM MAN: Micki, how’s your fish and pills? MICKI: Oh, just fine, but I’m getting tired of eating fish all the time, and these pills sure cost a lot of money. But I did just what your book said, so… Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, protein capsules, yeast, minerals… - Micki, don’t sweat it.

Just think, pretty soon you’re going to be the healthiest kid on the block. - Golly, do you think so? - Think so? I know so, Micki. WILBUR: Lies, lies! He’s telling them all lies! MULLIGAN: I know, I know! - You can’t feel good eating like that, you can only get sick. - They used to believe that but he’s tricked them into… - Oh, I could pulverize him! MIKE: And I’m on your diet where all I have to eat is eggs and vitamin pills every day for two months. Then I go on her fish diet, and she goes on my egg diet. Boy, we’re gonna look great. FLIM FLAM MAN: Attaboy, Mike. Now, you know what I want the rest of you kids to do? MAGGIE: A different diet? - No, no. Better than that. You want all your friends to be healthy, strong, and cool like you’re gonna be, right? MIKE: Sure! MANNY: Of course we do! FLIM FLAM MAN: Good, I knew you did. So I want you to get ‘em to read my latest book. All the kids, all the kids all over the world, so that they can learn they don’t need any of this balanced diet, nutrition, none of that stuff, right? CHILDREN: Right! WILBUR: Oh, how vile! He’ll make them forget everything I taught them about good nutrition. MULLIGAN: But how can we… - And he won’t get away with it! - Wilbur, wait! - You vile, uh…

You villain! You fool! Wait till I put my hands on you! 20:02 - You, sir, are a coward and a scoundrel. FLIM FLAM MAN: Coward? Scoundrel? Who’s the joker? MICKI: He’s our friend Wilbur Dooright. WILBUR: That’s right, and I’m here to tell you that all these stories… FLIM FLAM MAN: Wilbur Dooright. Why don’t you do right by me, and blast off? MULLIGAN: Wilbur, do you think this is too much for you? WILBUR: Please tell these young people the truth about your selling these ridiculous diets, or I shall have to personally handle you myself. FLIM FLAM MAN: Look, Wilbur, I’ve been eating these diets for years.

20:33 - - Will you tell them the truth about nutrition and balanced diets or shall I have to force you? - Force? Me? MULLIGAN: Wilbur, be careful! [Laughing] MICKI: Wilbur force him, that’s funny. [Laughing] MANNY: Yeah, skinny ol’ little Wilbur. MIKE: Gee, Wilbur, you’re funny. FLIM FLAM MAN: Yeah, why don’t you, uh, blast off, Wilbur, before I Wilbur-ize you. - Wilbur-ize you! [Laughing] WILBUR: I challenge you to a duel. [Slapping] FLIM FLAM MAN: Woah! MULLIGAN: A duel? [Children laughing] WILBUR: I will prove to all of these people the fallacy of your diets.

21:12 - My duel will show what happens to people who eat these, yuck, diets. FLIM FLAM MAN: Oh, a duel, is it? What kind of duel? Mud pies or patty cakes? - No, sir. A duel of strength and endurance, which only comes from good eating. - Strength? Endurance? - Yes. Will you accept my challenge or will you admit to all of these people that your diets are hot air? - I accept. - Then let the duel begin. MANNY: Well come on, let’s see the duel! CHILDREN: Yeah! Come on! MULLIGAN: Wilbur, be careful! Please! WILBUR: Careful? Who cares about caution? Not I, for I am on the side of right, yes my friends.

21:59 - And when you are on the side of right nothing can go wrong. You’ll see. Because of virtue, and beauty, and all of those words. They’re important. We must never forget them, as well as good eating, and the four-four-four-three-three-two, and all of that because you have to remember that it is more important to eat a balanced diet… [Banjo music] [Music] [Children cheering] [Music] FLIM FLAM MAN: Ugh, I’m tired! WILBUR: Oh, come, sir, another lap around the block wouldn’t hurt you! - Oh, you gotta be crazy! I couldn’t do another lap. I’m exhausted! - Exhausted, well, of course! From all those junky diets in your book that rob you of all of your, your good strength, and your, and your health.

23:36 - - Oh, you mean those diets are what did this to me? MULLIGAN: They sure did, didn’t they? CHILDREN: Yeah! FLIM FLAM MAN: Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. Not all my diets are bad. There’s one diet, you’d really like it. It’s chopped carrots, and carrots… WILBUR: No they wouldn’t. Would you? MIKE: No, it’s a balanced diet for me from now on. MANNY: Me too. MICKI: And me, and I’m remembering good nutrition and the four food groups. MAGGIE: And four-four-three-two. MULLIGAN: So we don’t wanna eat your crummy diets anymore. WILBUR: Got that? FLIM FLAM MAN: Yeah, yeah, I got it. - Okay, come on kids.

24:06 - I’ll take you all out for a nice nutritious pizza! CHILDREN: Yeah! [Music] MAGGIE: Gee, Wilbur, you were terrific! MICKI: Yeah, Wilbur, you were terrific! WILBUR: I guess I am, aren’t I? MIKE: Where did you ever learn to shoot a ball like that, man? MANNY: Yeah, you think you could teach us? MULLIGAN: Boy, you sure showed him how important it was to eat right, didn’t you, Wilbur? WILBUR: I sure did. [Clapping] MULLIGAN: Don’t fall for these quick diets and fad foods that are going around. They’re no good for you. MANNY: Every time you leave out important foods from your diet, you’re not getting good nutrition. MICKI: You need to eat a balanced diet to stay healthy. You need good nutrition to live and grow. MAGGIE: Nobody can afford not to eat right.

Nobody! 24:52 - MIKE: And don’t expect to keep your health in line from eating good only a couple of days. You gotta eat right all the time to feel right all the time. That means a balanced diet. [Music] FROGS: Milk group. [Music] Meat group. [Music] Fruit and vegetables group. [Music] Bread and cereals group. That’s a balanced diet. [Singing] Doo-wah. TED WILLIAMS: And you have to know the formula for eating right too. It’s called four-four-three-two. MAGGIE: Four servings a day of fruits and vegetables.

25:26 - MIKE: Four servings a day of breads and cereals. MICKI: Three servings a day of milk or milk products. MANNY: Two servings a day from the meat group. MULLIGAN: That’s four-four-three-two. [Laughing] WILBUR: That’s four-four-three-two? Well, of course that’s four-four- three-two. Four-four-three-two. Anyone knows that. Four-four-three-two. [Music] [Singing] CHILDREN: Fad foods and quick diets are bad for you, so don’t try it.

26:06 - They’ll slow you down and that is why it’s no good for you. [Music] There’s only one way to keep your body in line. There’s only one way for feelin’ fine. There’s only one way and it’s yours and mine. And it’s eating a balanced diet. [Music] Fad foods and quick diets are bad for you, so don’t try it. They’ll slow you down and that is why it’s no good for you. [Music] There’s only one way you’re feelin’ good. There’s only one way it’s understood. There’s only one way I wish you would. It’s eating a balanced diet. [Music] Fad foods and quick diets are bad for you, so don’t try it. They’ll slow you down and that is why it’s no good for you. [Music] .