Christian Hospitality: Part Two - Bryant Martin - Anabaptist Perspectives Ep. 117

00:27 - Just a really quick little story that I want to tell here just to maybe inflame our imaginations a little. A year ago I went to Iraq with a nonprofit that I work for, and one morning - one Saturday morning - went for a hike way back in the mountains, and we get way back in there, and way ahead I see on this ledge - I see some - it was at quite a distance - I could see people gathering, and we’re kind of in a part of the world where it’s not the safest place to be, and so I’m tuned in.

Like who are all these people. Like they’re on this terrace, and they were pretty small - at a pretty good distance. As we got closer, and we popped around the corner of the mountain. Right there they were, and it was five men men from - Iraqi men that were having a picnic, and there was a gun propped against the rock not far away, and as we walked towards them, the one man jumped up, and started walking towards us, and he has a smile, and he’s welcomed us, and he was a man who knew enough English he could talk with us.

“Welcome. Welcome. ” And they brought us over there, and sat us down on their little cloth they had on the ground, and they put more water on the little fire going there. Put more water on for chai. They were roasting nuts, and they were cracking more nuts for us. You could tell they wanted us to eat. You know, “Eat. ” And they all sat there smiling and talking amongst themselves some, and the one who knew English would ask us questions, and it was an epic picnic on the side of this mountain way back in Iraq, and I’ll never forget that because these men - we were strangers to these men, and they showed us hospitality, and they they did it so well.

It was so welcoming. We just knew we were friends. They were smiling. They came walking towards us. They welcomed us, and they just “here this is yours,” and they just lavishly gave us what was theirs. So how can we do that in our world? How can we walk towards people? How can we break through that fear? Like I was fearful. Like who are these folks? There’s a gun or two right there. Like is this a safe group or no? But you know he broke down that wall of fear that I had in my heart by his smile and his welcome, and then of course the whole meal really created a lot of connection even though we couldn’t talk that much.

So how can we do these things? How can we walk? How can we talk? And how can we dine with people? So I’ll just give some points that we’ve learned , and what we do that maybe you could learn from or the folks who are listening. So just starting here at Sowers. We’ll talk about Sowers a little bit, and then we’ll go out from that - maybe talk about our home. So here at Sowers we always get people’s names. Just knowing someone’s name is just a connection or it shows that you care about them, and we have a connection beyond just a number or just another face, and so even though we have lots of people come through, I see our team getting names, and learning their names, and actually saying, hey, welcome, Bob.

It’s good to see you! And those kind of connections really just break down walls and help communicate that hey, we’re the same. We’re people just like you, and we talk to people. We might even go sit down and talk with them. Recently I was out on our little outdoor seating here, and a Saudi gentleman that I know a little bit pulled up beside me, and sat down, and we started talking, and he said one of the things he likes about coming here is that we talk to our customers, and so he was a lonely person.

We were there. We were there talking, and we showed him care by talking with him. We do a monthly cultural night here where we have an international friend - a student - tell us about their country, their culture, their cuisine, and they love it, and we’ve often found that after that time when they can share all about them to us, and we ask them tons of questions about who they are, and their families et cetera that they will often ask us, so who are you? What do you believe? It’s been amazing to see that happen.

We pray for them. We pray for the different folks that we get to know. We occasionally have an early morning prayer meeting right here, and we pray for them, and we realize most of all that all these things take time. It doesn’t happen overnight. You’re in this for the long term. It’s a long game, and so we get to know them slowly, and then we’re okay with that. Another point that I think is really important is to do as a family. It’s a team effort. My wife can’t do it all, right? and my children - you know if they’re continually having to host people and do all the work that gets to be a lot, so we try to have that team spirit.

We’re gonna do this together. I think that that is really important especially for long-term hosting. The next point I have is we always try to have a discussion ahead of time. Who’s coming? Where did we meet them? Who are they? Do they have children? What country are they from? etc. and what are their names? That way we kind of all have a sense of who’s coming. We’re kind of prepared for it. I think that’s actually really key because our children then they continue to feel like they’re part of the team, and it even helps them ask good questions too like when we’re visiting with them.

Another thing we have. We have this map that you can scratch off the country that you’re from, so it has like a coating on it. Take a coin. Scratch off the country, and also your flag, so it’s great for international student outreach, and they love that, and it gives us many opportunities then just to sit there around that map, and talk about you know what part of the country they’re from, and you know the topography, and the agriculture of that area, and the list just goes on and on of things you can ask.

Think ahead. What are questions - how can I ask them all about who they are? And that kind of helps just break down maybe some stiffness, and they then at that point often - you know will ask you more more questions. One thing that a brother from our congregation just told me the other day that they did with a visitor that’s been coming to their house some is they asked her, and said, hey, when you come here, like we need to know if you want to visit, or if you’re just coming here because you’re lonely.

You want to just sit here, and read a book. Like we’re not quite sure. What are your expectations for when you come to our door because we don’t want to disappoint you, but we want to give you the room just to be you, and you be comfortable, and so I think that was a beautiful - that’s a great idea of a way just to find out who they are. What do they want? and make them feel comfortable in your home, and lastly I end with the same point here that I did with Sowers, and that is that you have to realize that friendships and connection take time, and allowing people to get to know them - learning their struggles - who they are as a person, and not just pressing in, or being too obnoxious, or being too curious, but allowing them to kind of - feeling them out.

Like watch who are they? Are they extrovert or the introvert? and just watching about who they are as a person, and then applying your way of outreach accordingly to them. So give it time. Just be okay with this is a long-term process, and then the last point I have too is overall is just read books. Like this book right here. This is Rosaria Butterfield book - The Gospel Comes with a House Key. Incredibly inspiring, and lots of practical points. It’ll make you cry reading the book.

Very challenging to me, so yeah find books to read that inspire you along this line.

08:07 - You’ve talked about your friend who’s an atheist who comes in here and other regular people that you interact with. Can you give us a few other personal examples of just the power that you’ve seen in hospitality to as you were mentioning break down walls, and things like that. Yeah. Tell us a little bit more about the power of hospitality as you’ve seen it work out in your life.

08:34 - I think of a brother that’s part of our congregation here who one morning was at the park, and he was there reading his Bible, and one of the brothers from our congregation came by and noticed him there, and a while later he was still at the park - this brother from our congregation - and noticed that this brother was still there on the park bench reading the Bible, and so he stopped by. Said, hey, how are you? and got his name, and got to talking, and realized this young man was pretty lonely, and also was on a spiritual journey, and was just in the process of wanting to find a congregation to be a part of, and this brother invited him to come to our church that evening, and he came, and he’s been coming ever since.

So just kindness of strangers, right? Like being willing to press past that fear of rejection, and be vulnerable, and say, how are you? Like sometimes you just got to take that step. So that’s one example. Another example that I think of is there’s a couple that’s been coming in with their son over the last two years. They’re from Iran. We had them into our home here several months ago, and got to know them there, and had some very interesting conversations, and realized that they’re very lonely - wanting friendships - and very interested also in Christianity, and so then just in the last week they invited us to their place.

We got to go there, and to be on their turf, and that was really interesting as well, and they took tremendous care of us. Like it was definitely middle-eastern hospitality. It was a really neat experience, but towards the end of the evening - kind of as some of the other visitors had left, and we were thinking it was about time to go, he began to really press in some more on who are you? What do you believe? And then talking about his religion which is Shia Islam, and it was a really interesting conversation.

We had to go then finally, but he was like, let’s talk more, and so I’m anticipating more conversations, and praying that God would would use us as vessels for this work of bringing this couple into the kingdom. We’re praying about that. That God would just continue to draw them. Again, having them into our home I think just kind of helped break down those walls, and asking them lots of questions, and letting them scrape off their country on the map, and some of those things just that we showed interest in them, and then they were reciprocating that as well.

There’s another gentleman who through the pandemic over the last couple months began coming in every day, and he has told me that this became like a little place of sanity in an insane world, and so he’s been coming every day, and we’ve become friends with him, and just on this past week our Sowers team came to our place for an evening, and they brought friends that they know here, and he came, and afterwards as he was leaving, he came up to me and said, hey.

He said, if you ever do something like this again invite me because I need friends, and I’m tired of being isolated as we had been the last several months, and so again just very small, but as we open up our homes, and a lot of people in, and you know oftentimes they want to come back, and so welcome them back again, and allowing them maybe - maybe next time it will just be him that will come - that we’ll invite, and hopefully we can have more more in-depth conversations like we did this past time.

There’s just many, many others that I think of, but you know I think of my friend - my atheist friend that comes in - and you know he comes in every Friday morning, and we have many chances to talk about different things. You know we don’t always talk about spiritual things of course. There are times when he wants to learn more about what I believe, and one of the one of the really interesting things is that when he discovered that I don’t vote it just pulled down a wall that was there because he has been so turned off by Christianity that does not operate in what he would see as a Christ-like fashion or try to change him, or make him obey the Bible if you will through the laws of the land - through voting and putting in Christian laws, and it has really turned him off, and when he discovered that here’s somebody who cares deeply about Christianity, but yet won’t go to the polls, and vote, and try to change him from the top down, but is willing to engage with him that really opened up.

It really made it possible for us to engage because he realized I’m going to talk with him directly, and not try to change him some other way, and so I’ve told people - thinking of hospitality, thinking of interaction, and talking about the kingdom of God is that one of our best kept secrets is that we don’t vote. It’s a tangible way to put the gospel in shoe leather. That we actually won’t go, and try to control him other ways, but like Jesus we want to engage one-on-one, and say it’s for whosoever will that can enter into the kingdom.

At that point you know your heart’s transformed, and you want to follow the King.

13:55 - You’ve given us a lot to think about, and a lot to process, and I know you said that there’s no seven steps to great hospitality, or there’s no magical formula, but if you could give maybe just one or two things for people to implement in their communities as they’re looking to increase their level of hospitality, and engaging with people, what would you say to a viewer who’s looking for maybe the first building block or the first two building blocks of doing better at engaging with those around them? So my wife and I have lived in an urban context ever since we got married, and the reason I’m so passionate about that is because it puts us right where people are, and so they’re not that far away, and so you have chances just to interact with them regularly, and so maybe for the viewers that are watching maybe it would mean a change of location where you live.

Over the next couple years consider that. What if I would live closer to people? And then just naturally those interactions happen, and then naturally those conversations happen, and naturally you can just show love for stranger - a hospitality that we’re called to do, and for some people. You can just go to the end of your lane. That might just be where that neighbor is, or go to the library - spend some time there at the library. We’ve found interesting connections at the library here, or go to that local park, and just make it a regular rhythm that you show up at that park at a certain time, and through that get to know people, but I think too just praying.

I think it’s probably praying that God would just bring you across the path of those who are seeking. Those who are lonely. Those who are broken. That God would also open up your eyes to see people’s hearts, to see past that facade, to see that person as who they really are. So again maybe not terribly practical, but I think that that could be some places where folks can start.

16:13 - And I think you have a valid point about the urban part of you know being close to other people. I think though maybe a bigger thing than that could be just your whole attitude toward hospitality and wanting to serve. You know let’s just say we lived in Wyoming. You know there’s just not a lot of dense population there. That doesn’t mean those people can’t be hospitable. Maybe that looks different. So hospitality really boils down to serving and being Christ’s servant so isn’t it less about moving to where there’s a lot of people, and more about what happens when you do see people? Sure.

17:07 - Isn’t that a fair point? So I’m thinking of if you’re driving down the road, and somebody’s broken down beside the road with a flat tire that’s a way to show serving and hospitality, and maybe that is even more meaningful if you’re not in an urban setting. You know somebody’s stuck out in the middle of nowhere. I think really it comes down to serving wherever we are, and having that attitude, and mentality more than just being surrounded with people so that you’re always bumping into them.

17:39 - Right. Yeah, which is really you know having that heart of Jesus that said, I didn’t come to be served, but to serve. How can I serve? and it might mean actually - what you’re saying got me thinking. It could mean maybe even serving another family in your congregation who has that opportunity to interact with a broad range of people, and maybe they’re just overwhelmed with their life, but if you would help them - help and serve them in such a way that they could actually serve more of these folks they’re getting to know - they’re welcoming in their home - that could be a way of hospitality as well.

Being part of the Body of Christ, and just doing your part so that those who are gifted or those who are in a place with lots of connections can do their work.

18:24 - Good thoughts. Good thoughts. Well thank you, Bryant, for sharing your heart for hospitality and ministry. Is there anything else you would like to say yet before we wrap this episode up? Sure. There’s two quotes from Mother Teresa that I’d like to read here. The first one we actually have on our website with Sowers, and it goes like this: the problem with the world is we draw our circle of family too small. So let’s think about how can we increase that circle? How can we include those that we don’t even know very well into that circle, and bless them, and steward what we’ve been given for Jesus, and for His kingdom? And then she also said this: loneliness and the feeling of being uncared for and unwanted are the greatest poverty.

Loneliness is one of the greatest problems facing humanity today. And she said that a number of years ago, and think of how much more true that is today with social media, and how people have become so addicted to that, and have isolated themselves, and so we know that the issue of loneliness has only gotten larger, and so there’s so much opportunity for us to reach out, and then finally one last challenge from this book right here: radical, ordinary, daily Christianity is not PhD Christianity.

The gospel coming with a house key is abc Christianity. Radical, ordinary and daily hospitality is a basic building block for vital Christian living. Start anywhere, but do start.

20:04 - Great. Well, that’s a great note to end on, and you’ve helped me realize, and hopefully helped our audience to realize that it’s really a posture of the heart. It’s really a framework, a mindset to work out of more than maybe the circumstances, or what you feel is a natural ability or gifting. It’s being available, and willing to serve those, and be the hands and feet of Jesus. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your heart, and thank you all for tuning in and joining us for this episode.

If you want more information about Anabaptist Perspectives you can go to our website at anabaptistperspectives. org, and we’ll hope to see you next time. .