A story about Honor-murder - Pela and Fadime

21th of January 2006 Banaz Mahmoud was raped and murdered by family members. 7th of April 2007 Dua Khalil Aswad was stoned to death 23th of April 2012 Maria was murdered by her brother, stabbed 107 times. All of these cases has one thing in common, they were all murdered in the name of honor. What is the cause of all this? Is there any answer to why a brother, a husband or a father can commit this terrible crime towards their sisters, wifes or daughters? Today we will take a look into two very well known cases, Fadime Shahindal and Pela Atroshi. Before we start this video, we want to inform you about our project of women support.

01:09 - If you are exposed to honor-culture or need any female advice or help, check out our women support button on our website, where our women-responsible in our team is available on both phone-line and e-mail. Link to our women-support will be available in the description box below. Honor-culture, honor-violence or Honor-murder is to limit, hurt or kill someone due to the perpetrators belief that the victim has brought shame or dishonor upon the family. Acts like this, can be internal within families but also external as a consequence of violating a certain community, culture or religion. Acts that can lead to honor-violence are the refusal to participate in an arranged marriage, be part of a relationship, not approved by the family, having sex outside of marriage, becoming a victim of rape, dressing in inappropriate ways, engaging in non hetero-sexual relation or renouncing a religion.

02:24 - however, different methods are more usual than others in different parts of the world. The murders can sometimes be performed in public to warn other individuals within a certain community of consequences when engaging in what is seen as forbidden. In Stockholm court the trial begins against two uncles who killed their niece in Iraq, The main witness, sister of the victim has pointed out one of the uncles as the one who killed the sister in order to restore the honor of the family. The motive is said to be that the girl didn’t want to live according to traditional rules of the father. Pela has many good memories from her childhood in Kurdistan, most of them are spent with her sister Breen.

03:15 - The history of treatment against Kurds were not good in Kurdistan and Pela, Brin and their family fled war and oppression of the Iraqi government Their father, Agid Atroshi came in 1994 while the rest of the family arrived in 1995. I was 13 when we moved here, Pela was 14 years old. As long as we were children, our dad was the best. He did everything for us. We never complained about food, clothes, money or anything. When we became teens, he changed. He got weird thoughts about girls, you are not allowed to speak with boys or pluck your eyebrows or wear makeup. You know, when we are teens, our breasts starts to grow and we start to pluck our eyebrows, he became another human being. We were told everyday that if you make mistake, you know what awaits you. We were reminded about who we are, a Kurdish girl, who is not supposed to wear short clothes, or clothes with colors… What if somebody sees that I have short clothes. People will talk and we will get blackmailed. Fadime was born in Turkish occupied Kurdistan but fled early with her family to Sweden and grew up in a city called Uppsala.

05:00 - In Sweden she was reunited with her father and the rest of her relatives. The family only socialized with eachother, which led to the lack of integration with the Swedish people and it’s way of life. The contact with the Swedish society goes through the childrens. Fadime is raised in a family ruled by patrihacal values where the role of a woman is carefully appointed. She do not approves to these values and wants to break the lines where honor decides where the woman stands in social measures.

05:33 - In 1997, Fadime takes some university courses, she meets a Swedish guy which she falls in love with, his name is Patrick, due to the strict rules of Fadimes family, they try to keep their relationship a secret, after a year of secrecy between them they become more and more uncareful with keeping it a secret. They are caught by fadimes father who sees them holding hands on the streets of Uppsala. Pela has many relatives in Sweden, Agit, father of the girls are worried of what they might be thinking or saying about his ability to raise his daughters. He was afraid of things his daughters might do that would embarrass him for the rest of his life. Brin and Pela becomes teen agers at the same time as the family arrives to Sweden The family handles their arrival in different ways.

06:28 - My dad didn’t like it here, he didn’t have a job, he always sat close to the windows to see us come home. He had our school schedule on the refrigerator, sometimes we could miss the subway, he would be mad and ask why we didn’t make it. Well because, I didn’t want to stress about it. He asked me to run next time from the lesson to the subway. Pela wasn’t like that, I did listen to the rules more than her. I actually didn’t have a life, If I would resist too, then maybe this never would have happened. If we both would have spoken up, saying that this is wrong. But I was a little slow, Pela was sharper than me. She met with others who had that freedom while I always said that I’m not allowed to do that. Pela openly defied her father. She had a boyfriend and one day she let her sister Breen meet her boyfriend and the boyfriends brother.

07:32 - Within time, Breen would fall in love with the brother and soon they were also a couple. They went to movies, took walks or went shopping. For Breen, it all happened safely and in secrecy, but Pela didn’t care. While Breen was scared to be caughted, it was almost like Pela wanted to be caughted. Fadime and Patrick is walking together, holding each others hands, suddenly they are caught by the father who is furious. He shouts at them and beats Fadime, violating her both physically and mentally, eventually Fadime get’s away. She is scared but focused. Focused on the choice that she has to make. The very same day, Fadime talks with the police to get her stuff from her home. She knows that this means turning away from her family for her partner. The same fall, 1997, she moves to Sundsvall, where she has been accepted to the university.

08:30 - In the future she wants to help other people to support those who are in the very same situation that she is in right now. She both fears and misses her family. Meanwhile Fadime and Patrick tries several times to send Patricks father and grandmother to ask for Fadimes hand. The father refuses, a decision based on all the relatives opinion. The family want Fadime to marry someone from their home village in Kurdistan, they shout words like whore to her, and threaten her several times, she reports all of it to the police and reports the father and brother aswell. She claims that her life is in danger and says that her little brother has bought a gun.

09:16 - Fadime now changes her tactics, from being hidden, she uses the public to protect herself. She contacts newspapers where she appears anonymously. But the family somehow gets to know about her appearance. “My family are going to kill me”. Pela was a very good student, a student that could jump over courses A student which teachers says that she rarely missed one point in her tests. I remember that I thought about how good she must have it at home. It is very unusal that a girl in her age speaks up about what they think. I thought she was very good looking, she always had friends around her. She was so alive and talked very good Swedish. I was impressed. After a while I heard that she was Kurdish. My friends always made fun of that she had a boyfriend…

10:42 - It was the first time I heard that Kurds also can have boyfriends. I was surprised over how she was. But at the same time, impressed because she was so good in English, Maths, Swedish. Not one single time, she has said that she had problems at home. She said that her father knew and accepted that she had a boyfriend. Pela doesn’t tell her friends how the situation actually looks but according to the police investigator in the case, she took the fight at home instead of doing it in public.

11:19 - Pelas father Agit has in Kurdistan been a victim of torture by the Iraqi army. A doctor engaged in investigation about torture victims children writes to Farsta social office in January 1999 that he recommends the two daughters of Agit to get their own common apartment. Social services discusses weather it is suitable to give Pela and Breen priority in the lines of apartments, but in their conclusion, they say that the family conditions isn’t bad enough for actions like these. Pela feels more and more pressed by her family. She decides to run away… Fadime now decides to reveal herself and Swedish television records an documentary about her.

12:15 - The family won’t touch her as long as the story is current, at least that’s what she beliefs. A trial against Fadimes brother and father are being carried out around 23th of April, over 6 months have passed since Fadime last saw her family. The family sees the trial as another public shame. They believe that all of this should be solved within the family. The trial itself is an example of two totally different worlds that collides. During the break a confrontation emerges.

12:49 - The brother threatens to kill Fadime in front of several witnesses who has to separate the brothers in order to protect Fadime. When the trial is over the brother is arrested for a crime called “Övergrepp I rättsak” which is the crime of using violence or threats of violence due to judicial procedure. He shouts whore to her sister as he is taken away from the room. 7th of may, the brother and father is sentenced but Fadimes lawyer is still worried. He says that she is all alone, that she only has her boyfriend.

13:23 - Where would she go if something happened to him? Fadime and Patrick decides to move to Uppsala, however the only thing that shouldn’t happen, happens. Patrick dies in a car accident. Fadime is devastated. A week after the accident, Fadime sees her brother by chance. He jumps over her, abuses her until people around them stops the attack. For this, the brother is sentenced to five months in jail for assaulting and threating Fadime. Pela feels more pressed by her family. She decides to run away. Brin believes that it was wrong of Pela to run away. She tries to contact her.

14:08 - The father reports a missing daughter to the police, but they say that they can’t do anything since Pela is over 18 years old. This leads to the family taking things into their own hands. Agit’s brothers and other male members of the relatives are spending more and more time alone. Female members are not allowed to participate in the meetings. According to the police investigators of the case, a sexual perspective is introduced into the case of Pela. The family thinks that she is staying at a boys place. But authorities have been able to proof that this wasn’t the case. After two weeks, Pela returns home. She apologizes to the family and admit that she was wrong. The father wants Pela to also apologize to his brothers, but Pela refuses. She says that she only will apologize to those living under the same roof as her.

15:04 - According to Pelas sister Brin, the dad first agreed with this. He even told his brothers that they no more were allowed to interfere in his family business. This outraged the brothers. They now started a plan to murder Pela Atroshi. The situation got worse, the father urges Pela to apologize to his brothers. The new fights make Pela run away again, only two days after she returned home. Pelas sister tries to get her back.

15:31 - She feels like Pela doesn’t need to run away, not even Pelas boyfriend thinks that running away is the right decision. The boyfriend tried to personally go home to her dad and talk with him. For him this was the only chance to be together with Pela. But Agit didn’t like him or his family and didn’t approve him to his daughter. Brin finds Pela through his boyfriend. Together with the boyfriend and Pelas mother they meet up with Pela, who didn’t know about the meeting. She get furious with the boyfriend.

16:04 - The situation hwoever is much worse, since nobody knows that Pelas two uncles have followed them. Brin understands why Pela constantely ran away. She admits that she at the time didn’t have the courage to do what Pela did. Away from home, Pela suffered of ambivalent behavior. She misses home and returns after a month. The family now decides to travel to Kurdistan, more precisely to their home town of Dohuk. Pela thinks that it’s a vacation where the family is trying to find a husband for her. In reality, she is going with her family to face her own death. In the summer of 1998, the Swedish-Kurdish politician Nalin Pekgul opens her home for Fadime. She contacts her family, visits them and tries to find a solution for them to unite again.

16:57 - The father agrees to let Fadime be, if she stays away from Uppsala and Media forever. In the fall of 1999, Fadime moves to Östersund to study. She starts a new life but still fears that her family might seek her up. But a part of her also misses them, at least her sister and her mother. She secretely contacts them. In December 2000, another case of honor killing is observed. Two men is prosecuted of the murder of their niece in Dohuk, Iraqi- occupied Kurdistan. It is Pela Atroshi who have been killed. The murder of Pela sets fire on a debate of Honor killings in Sweden but there is also a general concern of normalizing racism and a fear of stigimitazing larger groups with honor killings. Pelas sister Brin says that it is the uncles of Pela that is responsible for the murder, but they deny it. Simultaneously the father admit himself of being guilty, probably so that he can take the blame instead of his brothers. Pela explains her version of that day: The day before Pela got killed my uncles arrives to Kurdistan.

18:13 - They have a meeting, they plan how they are going to kill her. My aunt came to our place and tried to get me out of there, she said that the neighbor is going to marry and that we are going to a wedding. They asked me to come with them and sleep at their place. They tried to get me out of there so that it only would be Mom and Pela in the apartment, but I didn’t want to go If I would have gone, I wouldn’t have seen what happened to Pela. God wanted me to see what they would happen to my sister.

On the morning when we wake up, dad has already left. I asked mom where he is, she just said that he left. Everybody left the house and suddenly it was just me, mom and Pela left. I told mom about my dream about three snakes. She said that I have three enemies. I didn’t know what she meant, I didn’t know that my uncles were here. After breakfast, we split up in the house and started to clean. Pela was upstairs and I was downstairs. Then I saw my uncles comes in, I started to cry because I thought that they had decided a man for me to marry. He told me to not worry and that we were going home in a month. I went back to cleaning. I saw that my father and my oldest uncle stood in the stairs. The youngest uncle was already upstairs, where Pela was.

19:49 - When she turned around she saw Rezgar with a gun and started to scream. He shot her with two bullets. My dad and oldest uncle pulled me down from the stairs, one of them pulled in my hair and the other kicked me down. The youngest uncle comes down with the gun and says that Pela killed herself. I said that I didn’t believe that. The oldest uncle holds my mother, she also screams. He hit her towards the window and the wall. He holds her heavily. People gathered outside and the uncle said “This is family business, get away from here”.

20:27 - After that he throws me into the garage, I see that nobody stands there. I ran upstairs and I came to the room where Pela was shot. It was our common bedroom in Kurdistan, we always shared room. She lay in a pool of blood, moving her hand a little bit. There is blood everywhere. I asked her who had done this to her, she said “The youngest”. I asked her what I should do, she told me to get her to a hospital. I tried to hold her up and take her a bit, I left her towards the wall to go get my mother since I needed help to carry her down. I went to the balcony, looked down and I saw my oldest uncle hold my mother, he hit her and my mom screams. I said “Mom, Mom, Pela is alive”. My uncles comes back and the youngest tried to shoot her in the head. I tried to push the gun away two or three times, the fourth time he threw me away and until I managed to get up and back, he shot her in the head.

21:50 - It came more blood from her mouth and ears and everywhere. Then he walks out like nothing happens. He just leaves us. Everyone disappears, my mom disappears and I’m left alone with her body. I try to talk with her but she doesn’t reply. She is dead. This is a unique case, a so called “Honor-killing” which happened in another country has never been in Swedish court. That is why it is important that the trial happens in Sweden to show that it doesn’t matter where this things happens against women Sweden as a nation, must stand on the girls side.

22:35 - In November 2001, Fadime is invited to the Swedish parliament to talk about honor violence. A meeting that would become Fadime’s last one in public. Hello, my name is Fadime and I’m 25 years old. I have been invited in here to talk about my experiences of being a immigrant woman in Sweden, with all its laws and standards. How hard it can be to balance between the family demands and the Swedish society who stands for other values and views.

23:11 - My parents view on school was that it was good if I could learn the language, in order for me to become their link to the Swedish society, they were illiterate. Higher education than that was not necessary, an education is not necessary to take care of a husband and childrens. When I was a teenager, my parents wanted me to go to Turkey and marry a cousin of mine. One day, something happened that was forbidden, I met a Swedish guy. His name was Patrick, and Patrick and got feelings for eachother. One day my dad caught us, he was furious and assaulted me and Patrick. His reaction was understandable. As a father, it is his job to look over the honor of our family. He is to look over female members sexuality and make sure that our virginity is kept until marriage. Abandonned, I felt forced to leave Uppsala. I knew that if they would see me, they would kill me. My parents found me though.

My little brother was given the objective to kill me. I’m here to tell my story today and hope that this can help other immigrant women. I hope that no more needs to get through what I have been through. It should be obvious for every woman out there, no matter of which culture you are from, to be able to have your family and the life you wish. Unfortunetaly, it isn’t obvious for many women. I hope that you don’t turn your backs to them, don’t shut your eyes. 21th of January 2002, Fadime decides to visit her mother and sister. The meeting is supposed to be a secret. They spent several hours together. The father and brother is not present. Around 9.30 Fadime prepares to leave. As she comes out to the stairwell, her father shows up and shoots several bullets with a gun towards Fadime… The same night, Fadime is declared dead by the hospital. The father is arrested. He confessed the crime. The death of Fadime shakes Sweden apart. She becomes a symbol for a strong independent immigrant woman.

25:46 - 4th of February Fadime is buried in the Church of Uppsala. The princess of Sweden among several ministers and high ranked politicians is present. I don’t understand, she was already shot at with two bullets. Why shoot the third bullet in her head? I will never forget, If I ever see him, I could end up drinking his blood because of what he has done. The day he shot my sister, there were no feelings in him, he shot her in front of me in her head. I can never forget that day.

26:34 - I don’t know, why I didn’t think about doing anything. I could have taken a knife and kill him instead. Didn’t he have any feelings? He killed her in front of me and let her bleed to death. The two prosecuted denies being guilty and say that the girls father is the killer. They say that it is not a case of honor. In Kurdish trial, one of the men were freed while the other was sentenced to probation. In the upcoming trial, Fadimes mother refuses to testify. However, the sister steps in and testifies against her family. In Kurdistan, Pela’s uncles accuses the father for killing Pela Atroshi. The father also admits himself being guilty. The father is sentenced to six months in jail in Kurdistan, however, Swedish authorities sentence the uncles to lifetime in prison after that Pelas sister Breen testified against them. The washed her body, put white clothes on her, drove her to the mosque.

27:43 - My mom’s brother took me and my mom to the mosque for our final goodbye. I looked at her, it wasn’t a coffin, it was something similar. She was so tall and beautiful. So beautiful, the only thing was her blue lips. She was so cold there. I kissed her and hugged her. It was the last time I saw her. Then they took her from the mosque to the funeral. The two cases of Pela and Fadime opened up for a new resistance against the oppression that women experience in the name of honor.

28:44 - Organizations like GAPF and Khatoon are two clear examples. Now, as we said in the beginning of the video, if you want to know more about our women support project, visit our website: Until next time, like comment and subscribe to the channel, make sure that you don’t miss any further videos on this channel. .